Perspective

Pespective is a funny thing.  Time is a funny thing.

I sure think about things a little differently from where I stand today than where I stood ten years ago.

I am really enjoying this new perspective on life and on my family and on the decisions we made in faith years ago, because now those choices are starting to bear their fruit.

As I mentioned this summer, our family tried all sorts of sports camps.  We took tennis lessons, played basketball, did swim team, learned to dance, act, play soccer, played volleyball, went to an art camp, the girls even tried their hands (and feet) at Tae Kwon Do.  Organized sports are things we've mostly stayed out of for the first 12 years of our lives together, in favor of doing things as a family or playing with neighborhood friends.

When our summer activities were over, I asked my two older children what they enjoyed most and what they might like to continue with.

One wanted swim team, the other wanted Tae Kwon Do.

We considered carefully how feasible each activity would be for each child and for the family.  Their practices would fall on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Mondays, which we have protected for so long, Wednesdays which is our busiest day with piano lessons and church activities, and Fridays when we like to socialize, relax, and play with friends.

Scarlett really is good at Tae Kwon Do, but was it something she needed for her development?  We love the values it teaches, but...in the end she wasn't willing to give a year committment to it.  And the days interfered with how we like to spend that time. Same for Guy.

So, we skipped both things, in favor of our regular routines, home, friends, free-play, piano, scriptures, family home evening, crafting, baking, family road trips, etc.

Another time when I asked Scarlett about activities she might want to do during the school year, she said, "I don't like to be THAT busy during the school year. I need time to do my homework, and I like being home and playing with my friends."

Over the years I have watched my friends run from one activity to the next.  I have sometimes questioned if I was doing the right thing for my family.  This summer was so fun, and I enjoyed watching them accomplish things and shine, but these last few weeks as we've made the choice again to be together rather than to go in separate directions, and hearing my children's choices has helped me to understand, looking back, that we really did make the right decision for us as a family, a decision that has brought us a lot of happiness and allowed us to make a lot of stress-free memories together.

I remember once back in Lewisburg, some parents at school started a "running club" which met only on Sundays.  I talked with one of the moms and expressed dismay that we could not participate.  Her reaction to my perceived criticism was met quite defensively, and I then had to smooth out the ruffled feathers of my friend.  But what did we do?  My husband started a running club of our own with our children and kids in the neighborhood.  He ran them around the block and promised rewards for those who ran the 1 mile loop every day after school.  We have found lots of ways to protect our family time together and still enjoy the benefits of different sports, etc. One way is not just to sign up for things that don't practice or play on Sundays and Monday nights, but to find activities the three oldest could participate in together.

This is a decision we make over and over again, a decision that now we can feel happy about and more confident in.

On Sunday during church, I looked at all of the empty spaces on my personal planner.  To me those empty spaces represented potential for how our family could fill that time together.  It represented freedom.  The Spirit confirmed to me again as I looked at my calendar the blessings of our choice. Now to seek the Lord's help in filling that time with the very best activities we can together...

Is there anything that perspective/time has taught you that you'd like to share with me?  I'd appreciate hearing about it in the comments...

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Do You Know Your Siblings? a Fun Game for Family Night

Do you guys remember playing "Do you love your neighbor?"  I must admit that I never played that until I entered the singles wards and started mixing from people out West.  We never really played it here in the East growing up.

Anyway, yesterday before church I decided we'd play "Do you know your siblings," as a way to pass the time reverently before church started.

I wrote a list of "favorites" on a piece of paper for each child and hung them up. (Including one for mom and dad!) We took turns writing down our best guesses for each other--things like favorite color, food, hobby, etc.

At the end of the list, we wrote down what we thought the person's talents and gifts were and also something we like about that person.

Later on, during our Family Council, we went over the answers. 

Since we each wrote in a different colored marker, we kept track of our correct answers to see who knew the most about the other family members. 

It was a lot of fun and yielded plenty of laughter. And I think each person enjoyed being in the spotlight for a few minutes. Save the answers in a scrapbook or journal for a fun family history document to look back on some day.

Just an idea for a Sunday or FHE tonight!

I am participating in a Family History Challenge this month!  Click here to read more posts about family history and Easter!

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Your Sabbath Day Sign

This past Sunday I was tasked with teaching a lesson in Relief Society on keeping the Sabbath Day holy.

This goes without saying, hopefully, but we've all been hearing a lot about this topic in the last little while.  In our ward alone, we had an RS lesson about it, a Sacrament meeting and 5th Sunday lesson about it...just last week.  (I shared some insights I had about the Sabbath day here.)

So, although I've had a lot of experience exploring this commandment personally (and growing spiritually from observing it!) I was a little perplexed with how and what to teach for this lesson.

After all, I wasn't given an actual lesson, I was coming up with the lesson on my own.  I didn't want to go down the road of giving a detailed description of helpful hints...instead, I wanted to highlight the blessings of keeping the Sabbath day...in other words, I wanted to give people a reason to keep this commandment.  As if the reasons haven't been spelled out for us already.

What follows is sort of an outline and a rough re-telling of how the lesson went. I hope it's helpful to someone out there.

On Saturday night, I went on Facebook and lamented that I wasn't sure how to teach the lesson...You, my friends shared some helpful stories with me, and I used some of that!  So thank you!

I wrestled with it as I studied all night, and rolled around in bed for a bit.  Then at about 4am I woke up with these thoughts about different kinds of signs...so that's how I started my lesson...

I printed off these different kinds of signs:

1. a Facebook like symbol

2. a "closed on Sunday" sign outside of a business

3. a blinker in use on the back of a car

4. a simply/modestly dressed woman

Before the lesson, I passed the pictures out to four sisters and asked them to contemplate the sign they had been given and then to take a few minutes to explain to the class how these signs affect others or how they are perceived by God.

I had the ladies sit in front to make up our panel facing the class.  
They each did a great job.  The first shared a personal experience when she had to decide whether to "like" something on Facebook and how that went and how it affected two people in her family when she did so.  The second talked about the restaurant being closed on Sunday, and we had a good laugh about how good the food was, but certainly they took a hit to their business by closing on Sundays.  The third sister talked about how a blinker indicates what direction you're heading in...also symbolic of our life's direction.  We talked about how sometimes we signal in one direction, but head in another direction and how that affects those who follow behind us.  The fourth sister talked about what sign the modestly dressed woman was exuding about herself and her confident appearance.

It was a fun way to ponder the purpose of the "signs" that we give and to segue into this idea of the sign we choose to give to the Lord through our actions on the Sabbath Day.

We all easily made the connection.

I had one sister read Ezekial 20:12-13...and then a couple more verses.  This is the scripture Elder Nelson quotes in his talk "The Sabbath is a Delight," but if you continue reading the next few verses, it puts the idea of the Sabbath as a sign into context....the context being that the ancient Israelites were not willing to give the right sign.  They were not willing to keep the Sabbath, and as a result, the Lord says, they were not brought into the promised land.  And future generations were kept from entering as well.  This, we know, is not the only reason, but in this chapter it is given as a major reason.  At this point, I had the sister reading come up and hold up a sign I had prepared.  It said, "We do not wish to keep the Law of the Sabbath. - Ancient Israel"  On the flip-side of the sign, it read, "Message received: "We are not ready to enter the promised land and to receive thy blessings."

We talked about how long they roamed and contemplated what kind of sign we in our day are giving to the Lord.  Are we telling him that we are not yet ready to receive the blessings that He has waiting for us?  We might not be ready, and maybe that's ok...but let's not wait 40 years to be ready.  Let's learn to keep the Sabbath day holy now or as soon as we can.

Then I read this quote by Mark E. Peterson:  "No law in all scripture has been more clearly defined than that of the Sabbath.  From the time of Genesis to our own day, there has been no subject spoken of more directly or repeatedly than the Sabbath.

"It is one of the laws most dear to the heart of God.  Yet it is noted far more in its desecration than in its acceptance and proper observance..."

"Our observance or nonobservance of the Sabbath is an unerring measure of our attitude toward the Lord personally and toward his suffering in Gethsemane, his death on the cross, and his resurrection from the dead.  It is a sign of whether we are Christians in very deed, or whether our conversion is so shallow that commemoration of his atoning sacrifice means little or nothing to us."  ("The Sabbath Day," Ensign, May 1975, pp. 47, 49).

I asked if the class thought that the degree to which we keep the Sabbath day holy has any affect on other people.

Then we read from the Bible Dictionary on Sabbath day observance:

"The importance of a sacred day for man to rest from his temporal labors, contemplate the word of the Lord, and assemble for public worship is a major item in a person’s spiritual development. Furthermore, a decay in the national religious life always follows any tendency toward carelessness in the matter of Sabbath observance. The existence of a weekly holy day is a most important safeguard; it leaves a constant reminder to the individual of his need for spiritual sustenance and his duty before God, and serves as a witness to the world that there is such a thing as revealed religion.

The change from observing the last day of the week to the first day of the week is not so important as is the concept and principle of the Sabbath. In either case, the Sabbath was symbolic of the mighty works of God: the creation of the earth, the deliverance of Israel from Egypt, and the resurrection of Jesus from the dead.

We discussed these two themes...

1. that observance of a Sabbath day is a "major item in a person's spiritual development".

2. that the existence of a weekly holy day is a most important safeguard to a nation's religious life.

At this point, there were comments about how strictly the Sabbath was observed in the early days of settling this continent, during the Revolution and such...in contrast to today--a day dubbed Super Bowl Sunday.

Someone brought up that we would do well to remember the brethren's recent advice to "avoid lists" of do's and don't's.  Which I've shared experiences in the past that has confirmed that this is correct, but I wonder how many of us are using this "new" push/direction as a way to excuse doing things we really know we shouldn't on the Sabbath day.  

I asked if this idea of sending a sign to the Lord through our Sabbath observance is a "new" idea or not.  Obviously, it is not, since we just read it out of Exodus.  I stated my opinion that just because we are being asked to not rely on lists for what to do on Sunday...doesn't mean that lists don't/shouldn't exist.  Each of us should be actively going about the spiritual work of making our own personal lists that we choose to live by, regardless of what others might do.  Also the advice to "send a sign" does not mean that we suddenly ignore all that has previously been stated by prophets about keeping the Sabbath Day holy.

Then I played this quote by President Hinckley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Zw_fTBhVlU

I encourage you to watch it (it's about 1 minute long).  In this clip, President Hinckley laments that Sunday is "becoming the play day of America..."

He also issues this poignant warning to us as a people, "Our strength for the future, our resolution to grow the church around the world will be weakened if we ignore the Lord in this important matter....We cannot disregard with impunity that which He has said."

I think this was another one of those things about the Sabbath that many of us had not thought about.  Not only does our Sabbath observance affect our spirituality and that of our nation, but it will greatly hinder our efforts to share the gospel if we disregard the things God has said about it.  Ouch.  This whole sharing the gospel thing is a major goal for the saints of Pennsylvania, so this warning hit us right where it hurts!

Of course, if we think about it, the opposite must also be true, if there are blessings we desire, we need to keep the commandments upon which those blessings are predicated.  And we are promised in scripture that the "fullness of the earth" will be ours if we keep the Sabbath Day holy.  So basically...any blessing after which we seek can only be helped by keeping the Lord's day holy.

I wasn't able (as with most lessons) to share all that I had researched and prepared, but I was pleased with the high level of participation by the sisters, and although it was a lesson I had to really work to figure out, I think we covered what the Lord wanted us to realize about His Sabbath Day.  

I did share a few stories which readers shared with me...one about a woman who's children's disabilities keep her family from going to church regularly, but that she has them dress up on Sundays when they can and take the Sacrament as delivered by members of the priesthood in her ward...and that is her personal sign to the Lord. A sign that is just between her and the Lord and her and her children...which most signs are truly meant to be....personal.

I passed out cards and asked the women to write down what message/sign they want to give to the Lord through their Sabbath Day observance and then to write down one thing they will do to send that sign to the Lord.

I ended by sharing one story that I read in the scriptures while preparing for the lesson...a story I won't soon forget.

In Luke 23:55 through 24: 1-9, we read about a group of women who followed after the body of Christ to make sure it was properly prepared for burial/entombment after his death.  They prepared spices to use on his body, but seeing that the Sabbath was upon them, they stopped short of their task and waited until the next day to look after Christ's body.

That "next day" was Sunday (since their Sabbath was on Saturday), and when they came to the tomb, they found that his body was not there.  They were met by two angels who explained that He was risen.  These women became some of the very first witnesses of the Resurrection of the Savior BECAUSE they observed the Sabbath Day as they knew it.

We all want to be witnesses of Christ and we can be.  We can receive these same wonderful witnesses of Him, but sometimes we make things harder than they have to be.  Sometimes receiving a witness is mainly a matter of being in the right place at the right time.  Keeping the Lord's commandment to observe the Sabbath can help us do that.

There are lots of great scriptures on the Sabbath which you can read listed in the Bible Dictionary under "Sabbath."

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Drawing Pictures of the New Baby

Good morning friends!  I hope you're all enjoying a fresh start to a new week.  On Sunday morning, during scripture study, we talked about how Nephi said he delighted in the scriptures.  I asked the kids how they thought it was possible for him to delight in the scriptures...what was it he did each day to be able to say he delights in them?  I told the children that we need to do the most important things first.  

That's what I try to do each day.  (Lately, after I drag myself out of bed and manage to arrive at some some semblance of wakefulness!) I wake up and say, "What's the one thing I want to get done today?  What is the one thing that if I get nothing else done, I want to be able to say I did?"  And I start with that.  Thus fulfilling my motto of "You always have time for things you put first."  I told them that if delighting in the scriptures is our number one thing...we'd be wise to read them right away, first thing!  That way we'll be sure to get it done.

So this morning, so as not to be a hypocrite, I started with my scripture study (after the kids left anyway), then I wrote in my new baby's journal (something else I've been wanting to accomplish)...and here I am typing up a quick blog post.  

It's been hard to read my scriptures lately, because I've been so tired, but I've tried a few things, like listening to the scriptures while I get ready, etc.  Anyway, every day is a new day.  And my new week is starting in a positive way as I try to put the most important things first.

So!  Yesterday, as I mentioned on Facebook, we had another good Sabbath day together.  Steve was gone basically all day, so it was all on me to keep the peace and help us delight in the Sabbath.

I actually prepared for one of our activities earlier in the week.  By addressing and starting to write in cards we would send to family, it made it easier for us to write Valentine's to our cousins together after church.

The other activity we did that was a lot of fun was drawing pictures of what we think our new baby will look like.  Here's how the pictures turned out:

As you know, we didn't find out the gender this time.  Honor wants a GIRL.

Autumn would like one of each.

Scarlett thinks it's a boy.

Guy thinks it's a boy (I think?)  He colored the face purple, because Honor's face was purple when she was born, because she had cord issues.

The children really took their time drawing these and there was a lot of laughter about how each picture turned out!

Autumn turned her baby boy and girl drawings into puppets, which everyone enjoyed.

So, that was our Sunday for the most part.  When Steve came home (early!) we held family council.

One item of business was that we needed to discuss who we could ask to babysit for us when I go into labor.  We came up with a bunch of names and talked about who would be the least inconvenienced by a last-time request to watch our kids.  The children also talked about who they would like the most (Granny!) to come.

But there was one name that topped the list: GUY!  Guy was lobbying hard to be the chosen babysitter of his siblings while I'm at the hospital.  He kept looking in my eyes and wanting me to "shake" on it.  He told us, "I'll make them food.  I'll protect them."  What a sweet boy...who is growing up so fast!  We're so proud of him and he is such a good protector of the girls.

Earlier in church, I saw that Guy and Scarlett were struggling over something.  I looked over to see this "contract" in his Sunday notebook....requiring that Scarlett put into writing that she will "go to bed when Guy says."  As her new roommate, Guy had to lay down some ground rules I guess!! :)

So that was our Sunday for the most part.  Snow-covered and fun.  It ended with family council and Autumn gave us a lesson on the Iron Rod.  She was so proud and I was so proud to see her being the leader and teaching us.

Have a great week!

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10 Reasons to Hold Weekly Family Council

Last week, I shared how our efforts to keep the Sabbath day holy one hour at a time has gone.

Today, I'd like to talk about holding family councils.

We really didn't hold regular "family councils" until last Spring, I guess, when it was suggested by the visiting general authority that Sunday afternoon would be a good time for family's to hold family councils.

We have long had family meetings when needed...but the term "family council" always sounded so stuffy and top-down to me.  Not exactly my style.  But after this admonishment, and realizing that our family life will only continue to get busier, we decided to implement family councils so that we can continue to stay on the same page as time passes and our situation changes.

Plus, it seemed like a great way to help Sunday afternoons pass with purpose.

Technically, we were advised that family council should be a time for parents to teach family's some principle...however more so recently, it's more of a family planning session for the week, with a little principle or testimony sprinkled in to whatever is going on in our lives at the moment.  And we often discover what principle needs to be taught through our candid discussions at family council.

We have chosen 5pm on Sundays for our Family Council time.  This past Sunday, we did it right after eating our lunch/dinner.  We love to talk around the dinner table.

Steve and Autumn made us this yummy tray of food from stuff they scrounged up in the fridge.  It was a meal that you pick over and dip and just sort of take a long time eating...so it gave us time to chat and laugh.

Somehow we got onto the topic of someone "liking" someone...and Steve and I took the opportunity to talk about how boys act around girls that they like.  We were all laughing by the end of it.  It's interesting having a pre-teen in the house now.  Our conversations have changed a bit and it's fun to talk about new things.

Everyone was interested in the conversation and engaged, so we prayed and went straight into family council.  We talked about what each day of the week would entail, and what needed to be done by the family members.  We also circled around to the "what to name the baby" conversation, which resulted in no real decision, as usual!

I told them that the long-awaited Chipotle was going to open in our town on Thursday and I told them I'd be willing to take them out of school to go to lunch with me at the new restaurant.  Unbelievably, one child moaned and complained because she doesn't like Chipotle.  Um, what??  To which I took the opportunity to inform her that this NEVER in a million years would have happened in my childhood. (My children have it "so hard!!!") 

Anyway, in addition to outlining what I expect of them, I like having some little fun thing to surprise them with, if I can.  And by fun things I mean "fun news"...whether it's announcing that a cousin is having a birthday this week or announcing a fun activity we will do that they had not been anticipating...

In addition to this, Steve gave out "awards", which are basically a verbal pat on the back from Dad for some good behavior or accomplishment...followed by "three cheers" from the rest of the family. (Here Autumn is getting an award for being brave.)

Over all, my favorite thing about family council is that it seems to unify us as a family.  It makes us feel like we are a part of something...working toward a common goal.  All of the kids are included, informed, and asked to give their input about family decisions.  And for some reason, lots of funny things happen at family council....like this week, when Guy came with his shirt stuffed to look like muscles!  I have no idea what triggered this, but it was hilarious.

We didn't have any big decisions to make, but when we were contemplating switching bedrooms in anticipation of the new baby, the children were all able to say who they wanted to room with during our family council.  We took their wishes into consideration, talked about it as a couple later, then announced how the room situation would go at the next family council.

I asked the kids, who are home from school today, what they like about family council.  (Their response to "Do you like family council was a resounding "YES!!") Here's what they said for the why:

1.  "I don't know, we talk about our week and what we're gonna do." (Scarlett)

2.  "I like it because we get to know what's happening." (Guy)

3.  "And it's always interesting..." (Scarlett & Guy)

4.  "Funny things happen." (Autumn)

5.  "Because we get to know about a lot of surprises." (Autumn)

6.  "Like when you told us you were having a baby...and stuff." (Autumn)

7.  "Dad gives out awards." (Guy)

8.  "We get to eat or have treats while we talk." (All)

9.  "Memories" (Mom)

10.  "We get on the same page." (Mom & Dad)

We're no experts, we're just enjoying what family councils bring to our family at the moment.  Do you hold regular family meetings or councils in your family?  Let me know in a comment how that has worked for you!

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Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy One Hour at a Time

Keeping the Sabbath: Evolving as People & Elevating our Sights

Keeping the Sabbath day holy is a vision that the Lord would like us to catch and an old habit that He'd like us to re-evaluate in each of our lives.

I'm sure we've all heard a lot of sacrament talks on this topic lately, not to mention General Conference themes.

Our family's Sabbath days have taken an abrupt turn recently since my husband was called into the high council and to serve simultaneously as the Stake Young Men's President back in November.  As part of this, he was also ordained to the high priesthood which was a wonderful milestone for him.

One recent Sunday, a sister in our ward gave a talk on keeping the Sabbath Day holy.  It was also announced that our 5th Sunday lesson later that day would be on the same topic.

I felt impressed to write down as many suggestions as I heard that day that would help our family do a better job of "making the Sabbath a delight" and do you know how many I came up with?  A lot. I'll list them at the end of this post for you to think about.

But first, I'll share one tip that was shared in this sister's talk that stuck in my head.  At first, I didn't think much of it, but we have tried it out and it's a mantra I've decided to keep.  She said, "try keeping the Sabbath day holy one hour at a time."

I don't know how Sundays go for you guys, but when kids are young, Sundays can be harrowing.  And I've found that it basically comes down to this thought that there is either "nothing to do" on Sundays or that there are so many things we're "not allowed to do" on Sundays.  

I remember that feeling.  As a kid, I remember wanting to swing on my swing set in the back yard, but being inhibited when my Dad wanted us to stay in dresses, and not being allowed to play with friends.  Eventually, we settled into a routine over the years and as we grew: Mom prepared a delicious meal of roast beef, carrots, potatoes and rolls with homemade jam.  Someone did the dishes.  Most of us slipped happily into a food coma/long nap.  Slowly kids woke up and someone made chocolate chip cookies (almost every week).  To keep us quiet (and lesson the sibling squabbles so my parents could rest), we started watching good, old-time movies which my mom had on VHS.  Then there was eventually a Disney Movie on TV.  We popped the most enormous amount of popcorn and ate it like piggies around a huge silver bowl.

I'm sure my parents remember the squabbles more than I'm mentioning here, but it generally worked out.  Sometimes I remember Dad making homemade french fries.  That was a treat.

And eventually, as we grew, youth firesides became the norm on Sunday nights.

It's funny how you remember things.  It's funny how sometimes things work for one family or one family in a particular circumstance, but not for others.  And it's interesting how the leaders of the church have moved away from giving us a list of do's and don't's toward giving us a higher principle and inviting us to evaluate our Sabbath Day observance for ourselves.

The higher principles is this:  What kind of sign do I want to give the Lord through my Sabbath worship and observance?

A Story About Bees & the Sabbath Day

When Steve and I were in our first house and our babies were teeny tiny, we attended a neighborhood picnic on a Sunday, something we wouldn't normally do, but did because we were moving into our house that week and wanted to meet our neighbors.  The next year, they were holding the same annual picnic, but now our children were mobile and we needed to think about what precedent we wanted to set for our growing family.  

We tried to convince the organizers of the neighborhood Labor Day picnic to move it to a Saturday or Monday, but it was a long-standing tradition, and they were not willing to move it.

We were disappointed.  We also felt perplexed about the Sabbath Day and decided to do all the research we could into any guidelines that might be out there on how one should observe the Sabbath.  We read as many talks as we could from the leaders of the church and then as a couple, we made a list of any suggestions we could find.  Then we sat down and talked about them together. We were surprised that there were so few "lists" of do's and dont's...even though we had grown up in families with pretty clear guidelines for Sundays.

I remember saying, "If only we had a list, like the law of Moses, telling us what to do on Sunday and what to avoid...it would be much easier."

That week was the picnic.  Children cut through our yard on the way to the other neighbor's pool.  My children could both see and hear all of the fun happening all around us.  It was torture for even me!

But as a family, actually as parents leading our family (because our children were like 2 years old) we made the decision not to attend the picnic on a Sunday.  (One thing I did do to show my love for my neighbors was that I printed out pictures from the previous neighborhood picnic and mounted them so they could be enjoyed by the neighbors in attendance.)

So, another week went by, and it was Sunday again.  I settled down to nap in my bed with my two children (and my pregnant belly).  My husband Steve went to read a book in the play room.  About 10 minutes later, I heard him screaming.  I knew something was very wrong.

When he went into the play room, he noticed a bubble in the ceiling.  He poked it and out flew a swarm of carpenter wasps.  Within seconds the room was filled with bees and there was a huge hole in the ceiling.

Steve told me to stay in the other room with the kids.  This was a crazy, scary emergency.  I still remember Steve going straight to work making this homemade bee-keeper costume!  He put on a long sleeve shirt and draped a window sheer over him and under a hat, then duct taped his sleeves shut to avoid being stung!  He looked ridiculous.

He grabbed the shop-vac and vacuumed the bees/wasps up, then went out to the adjacent empty field and dumped them out.

It was harrowing to say the least (and now, years later, that I have actually been attacked by bees--which is a different story!--I know that was a very dangerous scenario.)

When the bees were mostly gone, Steve came to me and asked if I thought he should run to Walmart and buy bug killer to fully exterminate the hive.

I already knew my answer, but I said, "Why don't you pray about it and let me know how you feel."  He did so, and came back with the following conclusion.

It was necessary for him to act quickly to remove the danger of the bees from our house.  But in this case, it was not necessary for him to go to the store on a Sunday to get the bee killer.  He could complete that part of the job on Monday.

I couldn't believe this crazy experience happened to us, however in light of the searching we had been doing to discover more about the Sabbath, I recognize that the Lord had given us the perfect learning opportunity. 

I no longer wondered why the Lord didn't hand us a "list" of do's and don'ts for the Sabbath Day.  The Lord wants us to "feel" our way to the right way of doing things.  He wants us to turn to him and ask.  He also showed me that if He WERE to make a list of do's and don'ts, it would be ridiculously long and detailed.

Can you imagine a list that includes "if on a Sunday, bees swarm your children's playroom while you are napping, you may get them out of your house, but don't go buy poison unless someone is allergic....." and on and on???  So silly.  So unnecessary when he has given us the gift of the Holy Ghost and the power of prayer among other things to help us figure this stuff out...to lead us toward the state in which we "govern ourselves."

It's a good plan.

Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy Hour-by-Hour

So, back when my kids were babies, Sundays were fairly easy.  Everyone took a nap, ate food, and played with trains.

I've realized now that my kids who are very active need me to lead them in Sabbath Day activities that help keep the peace and set an example for them to follow.

I can't just say (as I have many times): "It's Sunday!!!  Be reverent!"  Or "Be Quiet!"  Mommy needs a nap!"  Just as Sacrament meeting often turns into something that is not about ME, the parent, but about THEM, the children...Sunday has become about more than Me resting...but another opportunity to carefully, thoughtfully teach and lead them...so that when they are ready to govern themselves to a greater extent, they'll understand what their options are more clearly and how to fulfill this commandment joyfully.

So, over the last year or two (or five?), I've tried to have something to do on Sundays including Sunday Scrapbooks, journaling, writing letters to cousins, and utilizing our "quiet time" boxes.  They've all worked well but need to be rotated depending on our family's needs and circumstances.

Is someone sick?  Is Daddy going to be gone for his calling (usually it's me that's been gone!) or to do home teaching?  Is there a special church broadcast happening that night?  Did our church schedule recently change?

These are all things that affect what and how we do Sundays.  It affects when we eat, when we rest, and what activities we might need to implement.

This past Sunday, having just moved from 9am church to 11am church, we needed to figure out how our mornings would go.  We had the children lay out their clothing the night before the first week...and that worked great.  And they have enjoyed reading quietly (surprisingly) while Mom gets ready.

But this week, we added the fact that Steve had to leave for the Stake Center as soon as we came home from church.  That meant preparing and eating dinner alone and hours of time with just me and the kids.

To help my children take responsibility for how the day would go, I moved the dry-erase board I use for my to-do list into a highly visible area.  I listed the hours of the Sabbath Day and a few options for things we might do during those hours.

I felt that this "hour-by-hour" approach to the Sabbath really helped the kids.

1.  They knew what was expected of them.  2. They knew how to help.  3.  They knew what was coming up next.  4.  They knew that they had options, since I listed about 3-4 things we could do during each hour of the day.

Here's what our dry-erase board looked like.

Here's what we did:

2pm - Help make dinner.  Eat dinner. Make cookies (I happened to have a roll of store-bought sugar cookie dough in the fridge left over from a Christmas project...all of the magic of homemade cookies, all of the motivation, none of the clean-up!  Win!)

3pm - Write Thank you notes.  While we cleaned up the dishes, I asked each child to write down the name of someone who they wanted to thank and why.  After the dishes were done, we got out our stationery and started writing notes.  I ended up finding a note to myself a few days later from Autumn that said "Thanks for making dinner, Mom!"  Even Honor was proud to write a note thanking her Primary teacher for a gift she gave her today.

4pm - The weather got really windy, so the kids ran outside to enjoy the wind that always makes my kids excited, and to drop their letters in the mailbox for pick-up tomorrow. It felt and smelled like Spring...and in January in Central Pennsylvania, that's something to stop and appreciate any day of the week!  What a blessing!

5pm - My sister Dawn called and asked if Guy wanted to Skype with his cousin Evan...so Guy spent a chunk of time doing that and was pretty happy about it! (While the girls played and them tried to crash his party!)

Dad/Steve came home closer to 7pm than 6 and I'm pretty sure he was expecting to come home to mass chaos and a grumpy, pregnant wife.  But the children were so helpful that instead he came home to quiet, calm, very clean house, and dinner left over from earlier.  

Even I was amazed.

We had survived the day without his always dependable help and managed not to kill each other!  And even though we "did" stuff, I felt more rested, than had I not lead them in activities and instead sat around scolding them or nagging them to "find something quiet to do."

Of course, this was one day...but it worked and I believe it's a good path for us to go down as a family this year.

To end our day, we (didn't play a game as listed, but) had hot chocolate with whipped cream while we had Family Council around the kitchen table.

I probably should have made more food, but somehow we all went to bed pretty happy.  Next week's another Sunday, right???

Ok, I promised to type up my list of things that can help us keep the Sabbath Day...so even though this is a LOOOONG post, I'll type them up anyway...(that way I can throw out my old planner and move on with 2016, so it's helping me out as well!)

This is just a brainstorming list and things I picked up while listening to this topic during church the other week...perhaps it will spark a thought in your mind to help you make the Sabbath more of a delight for you and your family!

Suggestions to Make the Sabbath a Delight:

1.  Do Family History/Indexing

2.  Blog your testimony (or share it on social media)

3.  Sunday Scrapbooks (You can read about ours here.)

4.  Write letters to family

5.  Call grandparents or other family members

6.  Write thank you notes

7.  Read next week's Sunday School lesson

8.  Play a Sunday game (board game)

9.  Write in journal

10. Play the piano

11. Plan the FHE Lesson

12. Take cookies to someone

13. Meditate/Ponder

14. Listen to church music

15. Enjoy nature quietly

16. Read together

17. Fill up Gas in car on Saturday/Lay out Sunday clothing

18. Teach the family a lesson from General Conference (see what we've done here.)

19. Think of someone to serve

20. Have quiet time for 1 hour separately (either nap or use quiet time baskets, which you can read about here.)

21. Make a list of things you're grateful for

22. Hold Family Council

23. Skype with family (or spend time with family if they're nearby)

24. Take it one hour at a time.

25. Partake of the Sacrament reverently

26. Plan family's menu for the week

27. Read church magazines

28. Organize family photos

29. Work on Faith in God (or personal progress, etc.)

30. Listen attentively to talks during Sacrament meeting (We encourage our kids to take notes and report back to us what was talked about later.)

31. Fill out Sacrament Worksheet (download it here.)

32. During Sacrament, ask, "What lack I yet?"

33. Recall as a family what was taught in church

34. Sing the hymns during church (don't just sit there!)

35. Lay out our clothing, Sunday shoes, coats, and scriptures the night before.

36. Plan/prepare Sunday dinner on Saturday night

37. Forgive others before taking the Sacrament

38. Go to bed early on Saturday night

39. Listen to the teachers and participate reverently during class

40. Finish homework on Saturday

41. Decide NOW to keep this commandment 100% of the time (our lives will be full of "extenuating circumstances".)

42. Come to church early and sit quietly in preparation for Sacrament (don't talk loudly when you leave either)

43. Dress modestly for church/try to remain in nicer clothing the rest of the day instead of lounge or junky clothes.

44. Put phone on "airplane mode" for the three-hour block of church

45. Avoid surfing the web on the Sabbath Day

46. Pray for the Holy Ghost to accompany you.

47. Keep voices low

48. Unplug from technology to connect with the Spirit (Take advantage of LDS.org/Mormon Messages online to enjoy as a family instead of worldly media.)

49. Ask ourselves, "Are we willing to do this?  To keep the Sabbath/be a witness, to get the "trash"/"noise" out of our lives?

50. PRAY for the desire to keep the Sabbath Day holy.

I do believe that these are all ways that we can make the Sabbath a delight...and when Sunday is more delightful, it's less stressful, and I think my children are happier too!  Good luck!

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