The Importance of Bodies FHE

Continuing our "series" studying the Family Proclamation, we did a fun activity at FHE exploring this section of the Proclamation:

1.     "In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life." 

For this activity, I quickly placed 5 different items for my family to taste in separate bowls.  I used cocoa, baking soda, granulated sugar, garlic powder, and cupcake sprinkles.

Each person was either blind-folded or just closed their eyes, and we took turns tasting the items in the bowls.

We wrote down our guesses and shared them with each other after everyone had a chance to taste what was in all of the bowls.

We then took some time to discuss the activity and how it might relate to the quote above.

I asked them to try to describe how each item tasted to someone who might have never tasted anything before.  We agreed that it would be next to impossible to make someone understand what the various tastes were like if they didn't ever have the opportunity to taste for themselves.  And this is why God mercifully lets his children come to earth and gain experiences in mortal bodies.  It's the only way to understand the world and His plan for us.  It's the only way to become like him.  God himself came to earth to gain a body, and that is why he understands completely what it means to feel pain, what it means to feel temptation.  That is why He can so completely and authentically come to our aid.

I reminded Guy of the time that he had to get a painful but minor surgery on his toe.  It was excruciating.  Surely, before the procedure, he wouldn't have had nearly the same degree of compassion for another person in pain as he has now after that experience.

In fact, we learned from his doctor that while in podiatry school, he and his fellow students were required to practice giving the numbing shot to one another (which is the most painful part) so that the doctors would know the pain felt by their patients.

We wrapped up the evening with another game that I had prepared ahead of time.  

I threw about 15 different household items in a bag--things like a pencil, scissors, a small toy, etc.

We each took turns feeling the items in the bag with our hands and writing down our guesses as to what was in the bag.  It was a fun and easy evening together talking about this part of The Family Proclamation.

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Proud to Be Me FHE

 

I'm semi-diligently working through the Family Proclamation with my kids.  For family home evening this week, we learned about gender.

We actually started FHE off by looking at pictures of our trip to the dinosaur museum (which you can see in the previous post).  One of the exhibits we explored showed how different aspects of the dinosaurs' body was used as armor.

We talked about the purposes of the various parts of the dinosaurs, and then transitioned into the purposes of our bodies and the purposes of boy and girl bodies.

We made a verbal list of things that both boys and girls can do, which was fun and interesting.  I listed things that have typically been considered "male or female" professions or activities and quizzed them as to whether it's something a boy or girl could do.  It was fun to see that boys and girls can do basically any job that the other gender can do.

Since we're big Signing Time fans, we then watched the Signing Time video of their song "I'm proud to be me" which got everyone energized, especially the little ones.

We talked about the purpose of being a boy or a girl and what it means in God's kingdom.  We talked about being grateful for gender and being kind to those who might believe differently than we do about this topic.

Overall, it was a fun FHE that kept the littles involved.

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Valentine's FHE: a special visit from Cupid

 

Once upon at time, my little sister, brother, and I were in charge of FHE on Valentine's Day.

This is what we came up with: dressing one of us up as cupid!  We couldn't convince my brother to dress up like cupid, but I did convince my little sister.  Hey, if the leotard fits...wear it! 

We made a bow and arrow and had my sister shoot each family member with the arrow and then we said something nice about each person and gave them a Valentine's sucker.

Seeing my sister dressed up in the leotard was just epic and still makes us all laugh whenever these photos resurface....which is at least every Valentine's Day!

For our family, this is one of those family home evenings that stands out in our minds. What FHE's stand out in your memory?

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talent show FHE

To encourage the development of our talents tonight we had a talent show for FHE.

We were treated to sword fighting by Captain Hook and Peter Pan...

...magic tricks...

...trumpet pieces...

...banjo...

...the highest and lowest note on a saxophone...

...and the recorder. Oh and I showed a blanket that I crocheted.

After each brief performance, each family member had a chance to ask questions of the performer.

This last-minute FHE was fun and cultivated a spirit of appreciation for the talents of others. The questions helped us see the work involved in reaching these goals in our talents.

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Exploring Differences at #FHE

During #FHE tonight we explored differences, different abilities, disabilities, different ethnicities, races, religions, etc. And that some disabilities are harder to see. We talked about what makes us different and what commonalities we all share. Namely that we are all Children of God. 

We sang "I'll walk with you" from the Children's Songbook. We watched a few videos from YouTube from a guy who interviews people with different abilities. We learned from the way he spoke to his interviewees with love and genuine interest.  We role-played making friends with people who are different from us and how we might defend others given different social situations.

We talked about my Uncle Johnny who spent a lot of his life befriending people in wheelchairs. At his funeral a line of people in wheelchairs braved the frigid, icy January weather to pay their respects at his casket.  

We want our kids to have many people stand up when their lives are finished to testify that they were a friend to those who felt different or left out. It was a good lesson, and I'm grateful my Bro-in-law was here because my kids acted and participated better! 

In the pictures we were doing various physical challenges to introduce the idea of differing physical strengths and abilities (like doing a tripod or balance on one leg).

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I Still Want My Monday Nights!

Hi there.  I'm excited for the church changes.  Everyone, please don't get me wrong, but every time I pour over what needs to be done/changed, I feel like I now have to take apart a puzzle that has fit together nicely for so long and there's now a new right answer.  And that's confusing for me.

For instance, I'm still unclear about how the curriculum changes will reshape our family's traditions.  We have for a long, long time always reserved Monday nights for Family Home Evening.  We have safe-guarded this night, always wondering when the year will come when our little ones will start to have things that will take them away from this sacred time that we have together. 

So far, it hasn't happened, because we've chosen over and over again not to let it happen...so far.  At least from what I've been able to understand, Monday Night for FHE activities are  still fair game...or whenever you want to have it for that matter.  I think for now, in our family, we'll keep enjoying our Monday nights together.  Sunday will continue to be our big Family Council day, personal interviews will be instituted, and we will explore the new curriculum too, of course.

For now, just know that I am really pondering this and praying for answers to my questions.  I really want to get to that sweet spot where I feel the Spirit's comfort again telling me that I'm going in the right direction with what we do as a family.  I really truly want that.  And I give so much of my time to those thoughts these days.

I do completely trust that these changes are preparing us for major changes that will happen soon in our world.  Changes that I certainly can't foresee.

As I wrestle with these questions, there is also something I am enjoying in particular during this phase of Mothering.  I am loving watching my children's testimony's blossom...beyond memorizing and first discovery of God in their life, and now to actually fearlessly proclaiming their beliefs to friends.

I was pretty happy for Scarlett (my 11.5 year old) who recently fielded a lot of questions from friends about why she won't wear ripped jeans or "crop tops".  Her friend said, "But you'd look amazing in a crop top!" To which Scarlett responded, "I already look amazing!!"  Haha!  As her group of friends continued to discuss clothing, they said, "those clothes are actually against school dress code, but  no one actually follows the dress code...no one, that is, but you, Scarlett."

Another time they wanted to make plans to attend a haunted attraction which Scarlett wasn't comfortable attending.  Her friends were pressuring her.  They said, "Scarlett, don't be such a Scaredy-Cat".  Scarlett said, "You're just going to have to accept that I don't like that stuff."

Soon after that, Scarlett asked me for a copy of For the Strength of Youth, which she shared with her friend.  Boy, those girls are so lucky to have such a fearless Daughter of God in their lives, and so am I.

Scarlett (and my other girls) did a wonderful job during the Primary Program this Sunday.  They bore such sincere and powerful testimonies...all of the children did.  I was blown away by more than a few of them, including Scarlett.  Her smile and confidence as she bore testimony of Joseph Smith and his experience with the restoration of the priesthood and her personal testimony of receiving priesthood blessings was priceless.

She is ready to move up to the youth program, whatever shape that will take.  I guess we'll keep figuring it all out together.

Whatever new programs await and whatever changes are still to be announced, I do know one thing:  the Lord knows His children, and he knows what they need way better than I do.  Jesus Christ and His teachings as expressed through His prophets have not failed us yet (in fact they have completely enriched and brought joy to our lives on a daily basis), and I know they will lead us toward higher, safer, holier ground in the years to come.  

For now, though, I'm still holding on tight to my Monday (and my Sunday) nights with this crazy, wonderful crew!

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Perspective

Pespective is a funny thing.  Time is a funny thing.

I sure think about things a little differently from where I stand today than where I stood ten years ago.

I am really enjoying this new perspective on life and on my family and on the decisions we made in faith years ago, because now those choices are starting to bear their fruit.

As I mentioned this summer, our family tried all sorts of sports camps.  We took tennis lessons, played basketball, did swim team, learned to dance, act, play soccer, played volleyball, went to an art camp, the girls even tried their hands (and feet) at Tae Kwon Do.  Organized sports are things we've mostly stayed out of for the first 12 years of our lives together, in favor of doing things as a family or playing with neighborhood friends.

When our summer activities were over, I asked my two older children what they enjoyed most and what they might like to continue with.

One wanted swim team, the other wanted Tae Kwon Do.

We considered carefully how feasible each activity would be for each child and for the family.  Their practices would fall on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Mondays, which we have protected for so long, Wednesdays which is our busiest day with piano lessons and church activities, and Fridays when we like to socialize, relax, and play with friends.

Scarlett really is good at Tae Kwon Do, but was it something she needed for her development?  We love the values it teaches, but...in the end she wasn't willing to give a year committment to it.  And the days interfered with how we like to spend that time. Same for Guy.

So, we skipped both things, in favor of our regular routines, home, friends, free-play, piano, scriptures, family home evening, crafting, baking, family road trips, etc.

Another time when I asked Scarlett about activities she might want to do during the school year, she said, "I don't like to be THAT busy during the school year. I need time to do my homework, and I like being home and playing with my friends."

Over the years I have watched my friends run from one activity to the next.  I have sometimes questioned if I was doing the right thing for my family.  This summer was so fun, and I enjoyed watching them accomplish things and shine, but these last few weeks as we've made the choice again to be together rather than to go in separate directions, and hearing my children's choices has helped me to understand, looking back, that we really did make the right decision for us as a family, a decision that has brought us a lot of happiness and allowed us to make a lot of stress-free memories together.

I remember once back in Lewisburg, some parents at school started a "running club" which met only on Sundays.  I talked with one of the moms and expressed dismay that we could not participate.  Her reaction to my perceived criticism was met quite defensively, and I then had to smooth out the ruffled feathers of my friend.  But what did we do?  My husband started a running club of our own with our children and kids in the neighborhood.  He ran them around the block and promised rewards for those who ran the 1 mile loop every day after school.  We have found lots of ways to protect our family time together and still enjoy the benefits of different sports, etc. One way is not just to sign up for things that don't practice or play on Sundays and Monday nights, but to find activities the three oldest could participate in together.

This is a decision we make over and over again, a decision that now we can feel happy about and more confident in.

On Sunday during church, I looked at all of the empty spaces on my personal planner.  To me those empty spaces represented potential for how our family could fill that time together.  It represented freedom.  The Spirit confirmed to me again as I looked at my calendar the blessings of our choice. Now to seek the Lord's help in filling that time with the very best activities we can together...

Is there anything that perspective/time has taught you that you'd like to share with me?  I'd appreciate hearing about it in the comments...

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Sidewalk CHALK WALK FHE

OH, man!  Summer is finally wrapping up for us!  It has been an amazing time of family and sibling bonding, and I am so grateful for that.  We're just trying to make the most of this last day of summer, but I can feel the time slipping through my fingers and I am powerless to stop it.  So forward, we will go!

Now for a quick FHE report.

Last night, we hosted a little Sidewalk CHALK WALK in our neighborhood for Family Home Evening, and besides the fact that it was like 95 degrees out, it was totally awesome and fun.

We always attended a Sidewalk Chalk Festival "back home" in Lewisburg, so we had to keep that tradition are part of our new lives here in Cranberry/Pittsburgh!

We asked neighbors to join us in writing positive messages on the sidewalk for the children to see as they returned to school on Wednesday.  We also asked all the kids to draw and make creations of their own liking.  Then at 7pm, neighbors came out and admired everyone's drawings.  It was just a lot of fun.

I was impressed when one neighbor write Proverbs 22:6 ("Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it") on their sidewalk and included actual "footsteps" for children to walk in.  I really appreciate that so many people are religious and have faith in God here in our new town.  It builds me up.  And I love that my kids get to grow up around people like that!  People who, as President Nelson would say, "Let their faith show!"

So, one more thing of note is that after President Nelson's announcement that we need to drop the usage of LDS and other nicknames, I changed the address for this blog.  

To be clear the name of my blog has always been "We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ," however when I started my blog, that site address was not available, so I ended up with "BeingLDS.blogspot.com" as my blogspot address, however I have always called my blog by it's name "We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ."  

Funny thing.  When I went online to see if there was another domain I could possibly use, sure enough "https://www.WeTalkofChrist.com" was now available.  

So, in case you were wondering, I am now directing my site to this address.  If you click on old links it will simply redirect you to this new address without a problem.  However, if you link to me and would like to change the link to the new website, that would also be cool.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm thrilled to hear this re-emphasis on using the full, sacred, revealed name of the church.  And I fully support it.

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What to do about Social Media FHE

Warning: This post will be scattered and incomplete and proably won't convey all the thoughts that I have in my head about this topic, because I really don't have time to type that all up, but as the farmer says in the movie Babe "at'll do, pig."

So, let me just cut to the chase.

We let our children know this evening that we would like them to stay off of social media until they are grown...And I guess because we've been leaning in this direction for them for such a long time it must've not been a shock for them in any way, because no one cried or had a meltdown.

I mean, really?

I can only chalk this up to the gospel principles we've taught them, to personal and honest experiences we've shared with them about our own technology use, and good old-fashioned reasoning we've done together about this.

Now, being someone who has used social media for good for quite a while now, this might seem hypocritical, but really I've thought about it and read about it and considered what to do, and lately this has just felt right for us and for my kids.

So tonight as we discussed (under Guy's tutelage) the section in For the Strength of Youth that deals with Entertainment & Media, we worked our way over to the topic of social media and time spent on phones and before I even got the words out, Scarlett declared that she was ok staying off of social media, eventhough her friends tell her "you don't have a phone? I feel bad for you!"

My kids are brave.  I've got to hand them that.  And I reminded them tonight before I broke the news to them that in so many things we ask them to be different and to stand out.  This was going to be another one of those situations.

When "smartphones" came onto the scene just over ten years ago, almost no one that I know even considered that there might be negative effects.  Now a decade later, we are only just beginning to see the effects.  And there are plenty of people who are distancing themselves from social platforms who once embraced them.  

I am reading the book (ironically I'm reading it on my phone) called "How to Break Up with Your Phone" by Catherine Price.  I already had a desire and started taking steps to lesson my phone-time, but this book really drives that desire up about ten knotches as the first half of the book she hits you with fact after fact about what social media and technology does to our brains, to our memory, to our ability to focus and on and on.

We've always taken a wait and see approach with our kids and devices/media.  We've tried to anyway, because we were never quite sure what route was best.  We've dipped our toes in with the kids and media only to pull it back again when we saw how it affected their behavior and when we saw that we weren't ready as parents and didn't have all the answers we needed to navigate this new world with children.  On the other hand, my son Guy was one of the youngest kids I've ever heard of to get into indexing, again under my care and assistance.

One of the phrases from General Conference that has stuck with me in the last few months is this from Elder Stevenson: "Let us also teach and demonstrate the righteous use of technology to the rising generation and warn against the associated hazards and destructive use of it. Viewing social media through the lens of the gospel can prevent it from becoming a spiritual eclipse in our lives." 

Just in the last few days, I finally could come to terms with how I interpret this quote.  I AM modeling righteous use of technology for my children.  I am finding ways to practice good use of technology by giving them brief, supervised access to it, instead of letting them loose on phones of their own and saying "Good luck, kid! Try not to get addicted."

As much as they might have wanted that perceived freedom, I just couldn't do that to them.  I could see what too much screentime does to their happy young minds and I couldn't let them go there.  (My favorite catchphrase for when my kids ask WHY can't they go online or WHY can't they just watch TV, etc in any given moment is "because I'm raising children, not robots, now go outside and play!" Or I'll say, "Because I want you to be a ''real boy'" a la Pinnoccio. Or my favorite sarcastic phrase that stemmed from a real incident, "TV told me to, Mommy" always gets a laugh!)

This article that I read recently really helped me bridge the gap and opened my eyes to how much added unnessary pressure my children would have to face if they were to keep up a personal social identity online in addition to having to figure out their real in-person identity at the same time.

This is pressure I did not have to endure while simultaneously going through puberty.  I was free to figure myself out outside of the public eye.  I want to give my children this same gift.

I understand that in the coming years they might change their mind on this, but as of right now I think they're relieved....the same way they seemed relieved the other week when we taught them about our standards and expectations for them when they begin dating.  The pressure was off.  Now they knew how to respond to questions from their peers.

I can be their scapegoat when their friends ask why they aren't online.  "Oh my crazy parents won't let me be on social media.  Pssh, yeah, I know, crazy, right?" 

And when they are adults, with fully-formed identities, testimonies, and convictions, they will be ready to be a force for good out there in the cyberworld on their own.  Until then, we practice and do these things together.  

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Tribe Pride FHE

 Tonight's FHE started out semi-calm and got weird real fast.

We read and listened to the section in For the Strength of Youth that talks about Family.  (Which, by the way, the narration and the words on the site are not exactly the same, so we listened to and read both.)

I asked the kids to write down or draw pictures of the principles that we learned as we listened, which they did, but apparently the example of 2 year old Val drawing on his face was too much for my older kids to handle.  They had to join in...and so did Dad.  By the end of it, despite my protests, they all had made a messy, funny memory together.

Here are some of the concepts we learned: Families are a great blessing from God.  They take a lot of effort.  Not all families are the same, but they are all important to God's plan.  Families can be some of our closest friends.  (I accidentally wrote "closet friends" which had us all in stitches too.)

The kids took turns sharing their posters with the family and hanging them on the wall for us to look at in the coming week.

Here we are being boring and listening to the lesson...before face-painting hijacked FHE!

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Friendship FHE

Some nights for FHE, I literally do not have a plan.  I usually have some doctrine I want to teach, but not always a plan.

And that is why this week's FHE started with a lipsync battle to songs about friendship...because it was what came to me in the moment.

In particular, we watched and laughed at and sang along to the following music videos that I found on the spot: TLC's "What About Your Friends", James Taylor "You've Got a Friend", "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story, and by special request "He's My Friend to the Bitter End" from the musical/movie "The Unsinkable Molly Brown".  

We have a projector on our phones so projecting the videos on the wall made FHE larger than life tonight and caused things to get real crazy, real fast.  

After each video, we called out what we learned about friendship in each song...We learned that friends are loyal, friends like you even if you're not the smartest, richest, coolest, etc.  Friends don't talk about you behind your back.  Friends defend you.  Friends are there for you, etc.

Last week, we talked about Language as taught in For the Strength of Youth, so my thought was to continue to teach out of that manual using the section on Friends.

Like last week, I projected the section in FTSOY that teaches about Friends and we took turns reading what it said.

Here are some main points we focused on:

1.  Choose friends who share your values so you can encourage each other to live high standards. (This goes for friends of all faiths.)

2. To have a good friend, be a good friend.  What does it mean to be a good friend?

3.  Treat others with kindness and make a special effort to include those who are shy, feel left out, or have special needs.

4.  Don't lower your standards to fit in with or gain a friend.

We talked about the difference between an acquaintance/friend and a close friend and why we need good friends in life.  

Steve and I shared stories of friends in our lives who have had a good influence on us and why and we gave examples of what a true friend might do in different situations.  The kids also shared examples from their own lives and Scarlett gave us a report about her experience last week when she encouraged her friend not to use bad language.

We talked about how to make friends and include others and encouraged our children to work hard to make good friends.  This is especially important for us as we left all of our friends behind when we moved last year and my older kids are getting ready to move on to our very large middle school starting next year and need good friends now more than ever.

We rounded the discussion out by mentioning how our siblings are some of our very best friends and that parents and children and siblings can all become each others best friends too if we treat each other with love and respect and kindness.

With adolescence knocking at our door, many of my Mommy-friends and I find ourselves reading every book we can get our hands on to help us navigate this new rhelm of parenting.

So far, I've found For the Strength of Youth to be one of the most useful tools for helping us all in this area.  And I'm grateful for it.

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Using Good Language FHE

We're having a pretty awesome day over here...It's 70 degrees, so my kids have had a great morning outside. Here is Val having the time of his life playing in the mud in the empty lot next to our house.  That lot won't be empty much longer as it recently sold.

I thought I'd give a quick update on some things I'm doing and thinking about.

Last night for Family Home Evening, we talked about language and reviewed what For the Strength of Youth says about it.  Believe it or not, I accidentally said a swear word in front of my children yesterday. It was totally unintentional.  I like to rhyme words together when I'm being silly with them, and I accidentally rhymed out a bad word.  Whoops!  My kids thought it was hilarious and thought it also gave them license to repeat what I said to others.  

I know they hear lots of bad words at school or in media despite our best efforts to avoid it, so FHE seemed like a good time to review where we stand on all of that.

We read through FTSOY and talked about its recommendations on bad language and gossip.  Then took questions from them.  Scarlett told me, "But, Mom, it's so HARD, because almost everyone around me swears or uses crude language."  I told Scarlett that NOT saying anything to her friends would make it harder for her in the long run, because she would always feel conflicted and might feel tempted to use the language that she hears, whereas if she gently lets her friends know how she feels about the language they're using and asks them to try and do better, they might just respect her for it, they might even change.  And the earlier she sets that standard for herself and those whose company she keeps, the easier it will be moving forward.

We role-played how she might go about doing that.  I pretended to be Scarlett talking to her friends, and tried to mimic her bubbly personality.  I said, "Friend, I love you so much and I love being around you.  You're so beautiful. I only ever want to hear beautiful things come out of your mouth!"  Now, complimenting others is something Scarlett does freely and often, so this would be a pretty natural and kind/encouraging way for Scarlett to get her point across.

Guy asked, "But how would I do it?  I can't say stuff like that to my friends."  We worked on a few ways, Guy might briefly get his point across to his buddies...something like, "Hey, it's me here, Guy!  You don't have to talk like that with me," etc.

It seemed like a helpful evening together talking about things that are probably real-life issues for them as they progress into tween-hood.  I'm looking forward to hearing what becomes of it and if they find the courage to mention their language standard to their friends.  I assured them that even if they just told one friend, usually that person will spread the word so that they usually don't have to.  Scarlett said, "I'll tell Cassidy!"  I love that she could think of someone right away who would be understanding of her desire to raise the standard of language she and others use.

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