On my honor, I will TRY...and keep trying...

This has been my view for the last nearly 11 weeks, so can you blame me for not wanting to put him aside to hold a boring old computer?

What a blessing it has been to hold him, to experience his first smiles, just to feel his sweet spirit, and get to know this little creature.  What an honor and a blessing it is to be his Mother.

It's been a lot of work trying to keep our little world spinning.  It takes all of my time, all of my concentration and planning and continual work to move our family toward what resembles the best routine for our now family of eight.  There are a lot of needs, but I find peace in slowing down to carefully consider and meet them all as best I can in the quiet moments.  I am finding peace in being patient in responding to each child...and not forcing them to go at my pace or to respond immediately in the way I want them to, but waiting for them to willingly comply or not.  This feels right.  When I am able to do it, it feels like what God wants me to do.

After the tumultuous year we had in 2017, I was eager to turn the page and looking forward to setting and working toward some goals I personally wanted to achieve for myself in 2018.  2018 was going to be MY year, so I thought, until 2018 actually arrived bringing with it one of the hardest challenges for me yet.

What was it someone said in conference in recent years...if it were fair it wouldn't be a trial?

That's how I would characterize the trial I've been staring in the face during the first two weeks of 2018.  Unfair, hard-hitting blind-side, personal.  Also, basically, out of my control to fix, undo, or erase.

I realized that a funny thing happens as soon as you decide you want to grow in a particular area.  The Lord is more than happy to send you situations that will help you grow...but you might not like it.

And I really haven't liked it...at all.  I would have much prefered to have an easy start to 2018, but easy wouldn't have taught me what I now understand much better than I did before.

As I was going through it, I just kept rolling around in my head how unfair it was, and I kept going back and forth between being sad and being mad.

Luckily, I was realizing that being sad wasn't helping me, being mad was definitely going to hurt me, and being proud was going to keep me from moving past what had happened.

So, my first thought today was the need for me to accept what had happened without feeling the need to retaliate or right the wrong that had been done to me.  I needed to be humble.  I remembered that Jesus Christ was wrongly accused in his life, he suffered for things he did not do, but he humbly accepted it.  I began to see that my small suffering could be a blessing to me, if it allowed me to understand the Savior more.

My second thought was that I needed to forgive, because holding on to my bad feelings was only going to prolong my own suffering, so I've been praying for that as well.

But it wasn't until tonight when my husband and I were studying President Uchtdorf's talk "Three Sisters" that I heard all of the words that would help me really reach the peace I wanted to achieve.

This first quote helped me to put myself in context and realize that I had an all-powerful Being on my side ready to help me through:

"If you find yourself worrying about what other people say about you, may I suggest this antidote: remember who you are. Remember that you are of the royal house of the kingdom of God, daughters of Heavenly Parents, who reign throughout the universe.

You have the spiritual DNA of God. You have unique gifts that originated in your spiritual creation and that were developed during the vast span of your premortal life. You are the child of our merciful and everlasting Father in Heaven, the Lord of Hosts, the One who created the universe, spread the spinning stars across the vast expanse of space, and placed the planets in their appointed orbits.

You are in His hands.

Very good hands.

Loving hands.

Caring hands.

And nothing anyone ever says about you can change that. Their words are meaningless compared to what God has said about you.

You are His precious child.

He loves you.

Even when you stumble, even when you turn away from Him, God loves you. If you are feeling lost, abandoned, or forgotten—fear not. The Good Shepherd will find you. He will lift you upon His shoulders. And He will carry you home."

This second quote helped me to learn that demonizing my opposition was making it harder for me to forgive and move on.

"“When someone opposes or disagrees with us, it’s tempting to assume that there must be something wrong with them. And from there it’s a small step to attach the worst of motives to their words and actions.

Of course, we must always stand for what is right, and there are times when we must raise our voices for that cause. However, when we do so with anger or hate in our hearts—when we lash out at others to hurt, shame, or silence them—chances are we are not doing so in righteousness.

What did the Savior teach?

“I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.”4

This is the Savior’s way. It is the first step in breaking down the barriers that create so much anger, hatred, division, and violence in the world.

Yes,” you might say, “I would be willing to love my enemies—if only they were willing to do the same.”

But that doesn’t really matter, does it? We are responsible for our own discipleship, and it has little—if anything—to do with the way others treat us. We obviously hope that they will be understanding and charitable in return, but our love for them is independent of their feelings toward us.

Perhaps our effort to love our enemies will soften their hearts and influence them for good. Perhaps it will not. But that does not change our commitment to follow Jesus Christ.

So, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we will love our enemies.

We will overcome anger or hate.

We will fill our hearts with love for all of God’s children.

We will reach out to bless others and minister to them—even those who might “despitefully use [us] and persecute [us].”

It's funny how quickly peace was restored to my soul tonight upon simply re-reading and listening to these words of truth.

I received the answers I was searching and praying for simply by looking to the words of our dear church leaders.  And I now know how to proceed.  Two weeks in and I can already tell, this year is going to be a doozey!

P.S. Thanks to the reader-friend who emailed me out of the blue words of encouragement and support last week.  Whenever you guys do that for me, I know that you are following a spiritual prompting and your words come to me just when I need it most and do so much good. So thank you!!!

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This is an important book.

What happens when a juvenile is sentenced to life in prison for mistakes made as a child? Can a person really change?  Does God care about everyone?  Does he care when we suffer?  This is a true story that will make you consider the roles of justice and mercy not just in society, but in your life.

I discovered this book Letters to a Lifer just a week or so ago, when I connected with a friend in my Stake over Facebook.  He and I had gotten to know each other last year through my calling, and I really got to know and admire his father, the Bishop of a ward in our stake, at Girl's Camp last year...however, in those interactions, I never heard about this.

This book is written by his mother, Cindy Sanford, and is their family's remarkable, brave, and touching story about their experience befriending and coming to love a young man who is serving a life-sentence in prison for a crime he committed at the age of fifteen.

I read one or two chapters and immediately declared that this was going to be one of my new all-time favorites...and I was right.

Remember when I read "The Hiding Place" and it changed my life forever?  Well, this book is so much like The Hiding Place in so many ways.  It teaches such similar lessons.  It causes the reader to look inside of themselves in a way that most books don't.  It is full of tragedy (less so than The Hiding Place) and also full of hope...maybe even more-so than The Hiding Place, because this story happened and is happening today.

I love a good, true story...and you will love this one!  I almost never tell my readers to go out and buy any book, but in this case, I'm saying: Pick it up today!!!  You can find it on Amazon or read more about their story here.  

All of the proceeds from the book are donated to MIMIC, a program that help families of inmates and mentors at-risk kids in Philadelphia.

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Repentance: the Hope-filled Path by Elder Scott

Since we have a wooded backyard with tons of fun paths to follow, I like to use that resource whenever I can for our family lessons and activities.  When I read Elder Scott's talk "Personal Strength Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ" looking for something tangible to help my children remember his teachings, this line caught my eye, "...repentance is not punishment.  It is the hope-filled path to a more glorious future."

To facilitate this lesson, I created two paths marked by signs.  The signs of one path indicated the choice to cover up a mistake.  The signs on the other path represented the steps we take when we choose to repent of a mistake that we have made.

We started the lesson by imagining a scenario where we have made a misstep.  Standing in between both paths, we realized that we had a decision to make...whether to own up to what we have done and repent or to follow the other path of denial.

We ventured down the "non-repentant" path first.  The signs marking this path included:

Lie about it.

Deny it.

Cover up your mistake.

Blame others.

Give logical reasons why you acted that way.

Explain why what you did "isn't really that bad."

Feel angry.

Feel guilty.

Feel sad.

Feel alone.

Pretend you don't care.

Hide the way your are really feeling from family and friends.

Do things to try to forget.

Feel even worse.

Deny what you once knew was true.

Attached to each path marker was a photo representing what was written (to help non-readers and) to more fully express the kinds of feelings that we experience when we travel on a non-repentant path.

Non-repentant Path

And of course, our path lead us right back to the beginning.  Our path looked pretty welcoming at first.  It was well-marked, even had pavers to walk on, but soon lead us through bushes and uncomfortable briars (even a dead end) and eventually we ended up where we started...no better off.  Even worse off, because we ended by "denying what we once knew was true."

Repentant Path

So, we started over and chose a different path.  We chose the path of repentance.  The signs marking this path were as follows:

Realize we've done wrong.

Feel sorry for our sin.

Confess our sin.

Change our behavior.

Ask for forgiveness.

Make restitution, if possible.

Forgive others and ourselves.

Feel peace.

Feel happiness.

Feel God's love.

Earn a testimony of truth.

Accept any short or long-term consequences of our poor choices. (Specifically mentioned in Elder Scott's talk)

Know that breaking a covenant with the Lord is never ok. (from Elder Scott's talk)

Fortify yourself by following the Prophet's advice so you don't fall into old ways. (from Elder Scott's talk)

Seek strength through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. (from Elder Scott's talk)

The path to repentance looked rockier at first.  The pictures of Godly sorry (real photos of my kids mostly!) didn't look that alluring, and the path meant, at first anyway, we'd have to traverse some ice.  But soon, the blessings of repentance became more promising and appealing.  Instead of walking aimlessly in the woods, our path took us to a higher elevation, onto the porch, and then into our warm home, where we feel safe and happy and loved, and where a bowl of left-over Valentine's Day Candy was waiting for us! (Sorry, that's all I had to end our trail with...perhaps "fruits of the spirit" would have been better!)

I am so thankful for the imagery that Elder Scott used and that our yard helped bring his teachings to life.  (You could recreate at a similar wooded area or in your own home using obstacles of another kind.)  I hope that we can refer to this experience often as we remember that repentance is not a punishment, but a hope-filled path to a more glorious future.

Here are our General Conference Review Lessons for the October 2013 Conference so far:

The Stronger the Wind, The Stronger the Trees - President Monson

Angels to Watch over Us - President Eyring

Come, Join With Us - President Uchtdorf

The Key to Spiritual Protection - President Packer

The Articles of Faith - Elder Perry

Like a Broken Vessel - Elder Holland

Trust in the Lord - Elder Ballard

No Other Gods - Elder Oaks

Beware of Bondage - Elder Cook

Decisions for Eternity  - Elder Nelson

Repentance: The Hope-filled Path - Elder Scott

The Moral Force of Women - Elder Christofferson

Each Day is a Day of Decision - Elder Nelson

Windows, Priesthood & Tithing - Elder Bednar & Elder Andersen

"Oh, How We Need General Conference!" - Elder Hales

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In the Image of God

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we learn that "All human beings--male and female--are created in the image of God.

So what does it mean to be created in the image of God?

In preparation for this lesson, I found a pretty fair analogy on a Christian website which I will now share with you.  

Using the digital camera on my laptop, my kids and I took photos of ourselves together at the start of our discussion.  They loved to see their funny faces on the screen and in the photos.  We noticed that some photos looked very much like us.  Other photos were blurry and did not yield a perfect likeness.

We then read the line from the Family Proclamation, "All human beings--male and female--are created in the image of God."  

We also read Genesis 1:27:   27 So God created man in his own ^aimage, in the image of God created he him; male and ^bfemale created he them.

Referencing the photos we had just taken, we discussed what it means to be created in someone's image. 

We also noted that the pictures that we took with our digital camera produced a pretty excellent likeness of us...but there were still imperfections in the image.

Likewise, God created us in his image, so we look like Him, but we are not yet perfect like He is.  

Physically speaking, many of God's children are born with imperfect bodies, imperfect minds, imperfect emotional states and desires, and so on.  In fact, we all are.

Perhaps that is one of the first lessons of mortality: We strive for perfection, while laboring in imperfect bodies.
Is our ability to become perfect like God contingent on having a perfect physical body in this life?

Certainly not.

Being created in God's image is not just about being able to say that we have all ten fingers and toes!

It is about seeing God's image reflected in the light of our eyes, the brightness of our smile, and the goodness of our soul.  

As Russell M. Nelson has taught, "For reasons usually unknown, some people are born with physical limitations...A perfect body is not required to achieve a divine destiny." (source)

Once again, the key to making sure that we keep the fact that we are created in God's image ever-obvious to ourselves and to those around us is using our AGENCY to make correct choices and to follow God's commandments.

And the thing that our key (agency) needs to unlock is the ATONEMENT of Jesus Christ.

Just as photographs age and yellow and become distorted with the passage of time, so mistakes and our sins (and even the actions of others toward us) can blur and warp the image of God that we see in ourselves and others.

In order to keep ourselves in a state where we accurately reflect the image of God that he intended for us, we need the "Master Developer" to help us remove sin and misdeeds from our lives by the power of the Atonement.

As we use our agency to repent, heal hurt, and remove wrong behaviors, we will be able to clearly see ourselves as sons and daughters of heavenly parents with a divine nature and destiny, and others will be able to recognize that we, regardless of our imperfect circumstances, have been created in the image of God.

So, let's review:

1.  Each of us--male and female--are created in the image of God.
2.  Our bodies, our minds, our desires are not perfect yet, but have the potential to be.
3.  We must work hard, using our agency, to make sure that we reflect the image of God.
4.  Mistakes and sin will distort how we see and understand ourselves and prevent us from reflecting our true image.
5.  Through the Atonement of Christ, we can remove distortions to our character and develop into the people God wants us to be.

Note:  This analogy can be used to highlight other points related to this topic that I have not described here.  Feel free to explore and bring out principles that you feel are important to teach your family.  You might also substitute using other objects such as old and new photos or a mirror instead of a camera.  Also, note that I try to keep the lessons to 5-10 minutes, and this reflects that goal.

Be sure to check out other lessons in this series:

Five-minute Lessons on The Family Proclamation

Agency & The Family Proclamation

In the Image of God

The Pedigree of Your Spirit

Gender Matters

Temples: The Forever Family Place

To Multiply & Replenish the Earth

Family Love

The Responsibility of Parents

Complete Fidelity

Want another way to teach this lesson?  
Check out the cool craft we made together the last time we talked about this:

You can find the instructions here.

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When the Prophet Says Jump

I am enjoying preparing myself and my children to hear the words of the prophets in General Conference this weekend.  

I spent the morning yesterday reviewing conference talks given by the first Presidency over the last two years, and writing down quotes in my new perpetual General Conference Study Journal.  

As I did so, the spirit continued to guide my list of questions that I'd like to find answers to during conference.  

Last night, during mutual, I had fun planning out the Personal Progress Project that the girls and I will be doing as we watch General Conference.  Did you know you can do an entire project this weekend...for any value, basically by watching General Conference?  You can read about it here.  I am doing mine on Faith.

Anyway, have you guys noticed that there are like a million resources now online for things to do with your kids during General Conference?  It's pretty neat that this is now the case (thanks to so many Mormon mommy bloggers out there!) but I also find it a tad bit overwhelming.  

That's why I was glad to read Stephanie's post about preparing yourself spiritually for General Conference a year or so ago.  It gives 5-6 really great pointers on preparing and listening to Conference, and has helped me remember to focus on the most important things.

And when we are taking care of the most important things, then we can enjoy the fun aspects of preparing for General Conference too, without stressing!

Yesterday, I roamed the aisles of Walmart looking for fun little treats to surprise my kids with and to get them excited about listening to General Conference.  (But let's face it, after a few years of "celebrating" general conference, they are pretty much already psyched.  Like can't sleep at night/visions of sugarplums excited.)

So, anyway, I found a four-pack of jump ropes in the dollar aisle and thought...Hmmm, what can we do with this?  Then this phrase popped into my head, "When the Prophet says JUMP....we say HOW HIGH?"  I doubt my kids would get it without some explanation, but the thought just made me laugh out loud.

But that is the goal right?  We want to get to the point that we are ready to act immediately and willingly on the counsel given to us.

With that said, I'm going to add a few points to Stephanie's checklist to prepare ourselves to hear and heed God's word:

1.  Take time during the next two days to repent of things that need repenting of.  Get yourself right with people who you might have a disagreement with or have hurt.  Forgive them, if they've hurt you.  This will help clear your conscience and ready you to receive more of the message this weekend.

2.  Pray to God to help soften your heart so that you may hear God's will and do it.  Also pray that you will have an open mind to what is taught and how it applies to your life/situation.

I really do want to be the kind of person who answers the prophet's call with "how high?"  But this doesn't happen automatically.  I found a clue to becoming this kind of disciple of Christ, while reading The Book of Mormon yesterday.  

I read what Nephi said in 1 Nephi 2:16:  "I Nephi...having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father [who was a prophet]; wherefore I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers."

3.  If you are watching General Conference with kids, focus more on experiencing conference with them, from their perspective.  You will only chase the spirit away if you try to catch every word and find yourself "shushing" your little ones.   (Believe me, I know.)  Instead, soak up the spirit that you feel together...play your games or color with them.  And you both will come away with positive feelings associated with the time you've spent together listening to the Prophet.  You will have six months to re-listen to and apply the teachings.

And last, but not least...get your kids a jump rope!!!  And when the choir sings, send them outside to jump out their wiggles...with the joyous reminder ringing in their ears that when the prophet says jump...we say how high!

PS - In photo above, there are other items in my basket that coincide with talks from previous conferences...A candy bar and musical recorders.

Can you guess which talks they go with?

 PPS - There are also a lot of well-organized ideas on Sugardoodle's GC page...not overwhelming at all! :)  Just so you know, her new packet is for adults and teens!

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A Mormon Perspective on St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

We like St. Patrick's Day around here.  It's a fun day to eat green pancakes, to watch Darby O'Gill and the Little People, and to pinch each other if someone forgets to wear green.  

In the past, we've used the legend of the Leprechaun as an excuse to secretly serve others, but we've never really gone into the religious roots of what to us is mainly celebrated as a secular holiday.  The reason being, that Mormons only worship and pray to God the Father, in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ.  We do not pray to or worship saints, so learning about saints and observing their special days generally isn't part of the curriculum (although they are generally mentioned with gratitude for their contributions to Christian history and the Restoration of the Gospel in the latter days.)

As a result, celebrating St. Patrick's Day is purely a fun, secular observance.

However, I was *lucky* enough to receive this thoughtful email from my childhood friend Karen about how she answered her daughter's questions about St. Patrick's Day.  And I'm so glad that I did.  She showed me how I can pull more than mischief and chocolate gold coins out of this special day.

Here is what my friend Karen wrote: 

Lizbeth came home from preschool a few years ago pretty confused about "Satan Patrick's Day". I hadn't really thought about how to talk to her about Saints' days turned secular holidays, but on the spur of the moment, I decided how to explain it. 

We belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Saints are good people who try to be like Jesus and who won't deny their beliefs no matter how hard it is. We can do a lot worse than following the examples of Saints who lived long ago. They didn't have the restored gospel, but they carried the light of Christ and kept it burning during the Dark Ages, so that it would be there when Joseph Smith was born and the time was right.

Saint Patrick lived in Britain during Roman times. He was Christian, having been taught by his Grandfather. One day he was kidnapped and taken to Ireland as a slave by people who didn't know about Jesus. God helped him to escape a few years later, but he never stopped thinking about those people. He wasn't angry at them, he thought it was sad that they didn't know about Jesus. He went to a special school to learn to read and write and to learn all he could about the scriptures. Then he went back to Ireland and taught the people there all about Jesus. Saint Patrick was a good missionary, who practiced forgiveness in a very courageous way. 

This year on St. Patrick's day, you can celebrate with your kids by writing to missionaries, drawing pictures, making care packages with green cookies, and by committing to forgive those who hurt you, and share the gospel of Jesus Christ by letting our light shine through the darkness around us.

###

Thank you, Karen!  I love that we can look at this story and see a great example of forgiveness and unfailing love.  May we always be capable of such love.  In the years ahead, I believe that we will really need this kind of love...charity--the pure love of Christ, more than ever.

Coincidentally, writing letters to missionaries is just what we did today in church!  Thank you, Karen!

You can read more about St. Patrick here.

And here are some more Mormon Thoughts on St. Patrick's Day:

On Green Beer

On Ancestor Holidays

Night of the Wolves: a Legend about St. Patrick (from the Friend Magazine)

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The Power of Letting Go

I received this in the mail this week....along with a special note from my Mom.

I had mentioned to her how much I loved this nativity that she painted years ago and how I was hoping to find one similar to it, because it reminds me of my children.

So she gave it to me.

Notice how the figures are children dressed up for a Christmas pageant!  So sweet.

I know that my mom spent a lot of time making these, and my dad cut the wood out for her.  So there's a piece of themselves in this nativity.  That and the memory of seeing it displayed in the home that I grew up in makes it special to me.

In her note to me, my mom talked about the act of letting go of the things that we collect in this life...in preparation to one day leave it all behind in order to return to the presence of our Father in Heaven.

As she talked about learning to let go of "things," I realized that she was talking about leaving actual "stuff" behind, but my heart thought instead about how it is necessary for us to leave more than just "things" behind in preparation to meet our Maker.  We must leave behind hurts, worries, grudges, and misgivings as well in preparation to return to our Heavenly Home.

Neither one is easy to do.

In our family growing up, we didn't have a ton of things...but what we did have, we cherished.  We cherished our home...the same modest home that I was born and raised in, the same home that I left for college from...and even returned to after college for a few weeks.

We cherished the old but beautiful piano that over-ran the living room.  We cherished the kitchen table that was never elegant, but always welcoming.  We cherished these things because of the people who either made them, gifted them, or used them in our family.  

I remember the stories that my grandparents and parents told about the people in our family who were associated with these items.  And I cherish those stories too.

As children we are taught to hold onto things.  We hold on to our mothers, our special soft blankets, our toys.  We are instructed to retain information such as language, fine motor skills, and nuance.  

And yet the most important nuance for us to cultivate in this life is the art of knowing what to hold onto and what to let go of...a skill that children seem to know instinctively, but as adults, we must learn again and again.

Thankfully, there is someone patient and all-knowing enough to walk us through this process of leaving things behind, in a world where, as my Dad says, "Men are born to die." 

He is our Savior, Jesus Christ, the one who came to earth knowing better than anyone that he was born to die and live again...He is the reason why we celebrate during this season of wonder and the real and true hope of all men.

During Christmas-time, we often focus on giving to others, but with this gift from my Mother, I am reminded of the one gift that we can receive from no one else but the Savior, and that is the power to let things go and leave them permanently behind.

What do you have the power to let go of this Christmas season?

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