fear is a liar

We got a Google Home thingy by accident a few years ago as a deal for spending a lot at Home Depot when Steve finished our basement.  I wouldn't plug it in, because I'm such a stickler for keeping my kids in the real world.

I thought it would help me to protect my kids from all the bad stuff online too.  Maybe that sounds funny, but having less devices actually made my life easier. 

I cleaned my closet out today and found this device still unused. I plugged it in since our Sunday School teacher mentioned asking your device to read your scriptures to you.  And the app I use to listen to the news isn't working right either.

Plugging it in kind of felt like I was admitting defeat.

I know I am not defeated. I know God can and will continue to help me in my struggles with my son and in my fight to help my kids navigate their very complicated world.

I have done my best as a Mom.  I also do my best not to let myself get down.  But today, I need to feel sad, listen to music, and throw things away, and just be quiet.

And maybe set up my device to read my scriptures to me when I can't bring myself to do it.

And tomorrow will be Sunday again, and I will let God carry some of this for me again.