I keep meaning to type out my feelings at this point in life. However, there doesn't seem to be words adequate to express the complexity of my thoughts--not exact words that I feel comfortable putting out in public, anyway.
In my heart is an intricate web of gratitude and awe and humility and disbelief and amazement at the path the Lord has lead me down to get to this place. You see, I am quite a different person now than I was four years ago. During that time, I have been pruned and cut back and given the opportunity to grow up in a better way than the way that I had planned.
And that is the beautiful thing about life, especially a life where you let your guard down, and lay your will down, and let the Lord do what he will with you.
It's not an easy thing, but it is a glorious thing. It is a magnificent metamorphosis...one that only The Maker, our Savior, can adequately take us through (and which he'll take us through many times in this life, if we let Him.)
It is a change that puts all events in our lives--past and present--into their proper place and perspective. It is a change that allows us to see who we were really meant to be and causes a course correction that betters our chances of actually reaching our intended destiny...and to get there happier and wiser and more fulfilled.
There is no self-help book, no magic word, no mind-over-matter that can bring about this kind of change.
And there is no better travel companion on this road than Jesus Christ, the one who understands us best, who loves us completely, the only one who has really gone there before.
As I look back, I truly see Him in my life, and I recognize better now more than ever what he has done for me personally...and why.
Like I said, there just aren't words.
Maybe that is why Mary kept these things and pondered them in her heart.
Wise woman that Mary.
Jocelyn, you are such a wonderful example. You are one of my heroes (even more so than Han Solo)!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Steve! I know you guys know where I am coming from here! :)
Deleteand PS...even more so than Han Solo!!!??? :)
DeleteAhh . . . I love wearing my baby close to my heart. Beautiful thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMe too! :) Thanks, Robyn!
DeleteThank you for sharing these thoughts. I know just what you mean. I continually go through this process over and over again. You said it beautifully.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new baby. What a gorgeous picture of you both.
Thank you much, Ginger!
DeleteSo well written...I loved how it ended with wise Mary. Love that very important stage of holding babies all day long. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of...
Deletereal fulfillment in your divine role as woman is a gift! congrats!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lin!
DeleteWhat lovely thoughts. A beautiful picture of yourself and your sweet little one. Your reflections were just so lovely. You are such a wonderful daughter of God. I love the thought about Mary pondering it in her heart. Christ is the way; the only way.
ReplyDeleteBlessings of joy to you!
And to you, LeAnn! Thank you for all of your lovely, encouragement!
DeleteBeautiful-- I needed the reminder today. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mama Rachel! Are you ready??? Is it time yet?
DeleteBeautiful post. I think I'm going to have to read it over a few times in the upcoming weeks. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Martha...me too!
DeleteLovely. When we're just doing the steady path of trying, we're all becoming something better all the time. It's a special gift to sit still and ponder just enough to feel it. :)
ReplyDeleteWise woman, that Jocelyn.
ReplyDelete=)
This was a beautiful post. :) And something that feels wonderful to relate to! Motherhood definitely changes us. Oury kids are such blessings to us! :D
ReplyDeleteI love that you took the time to write down your feelings about life and how the gospel of Christ has really changed you for the better through the years. Pondering on these things about ourselves is very important-it gives us the time to really look back and be grateful on all the challenges that helped us become better person as we relied on and trusted God's will and love. I love pondering too and writing down my feelings as well--it helps me feel grateful to Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ too. You are such a virtuous woman and i really look up to your good examples. Love you!!
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