Family Planning: It's None Of THEIR Business!

Today we'll have the pleasure of hearing from a woman who often blogs from the wild side of Motherhood...but somehow, even when she tells it like it is--messes, spills, tantrums, and all--life with four kids ages five and under still ends up seeming...pretty wonderful!  Here is Serene of Serene Is My Name, Not My Life...

True Stories 

At the time, I had two small children, ages 2 and not quite 1, and I was several months pregnant with our surprise baby number three.

I was loading the two kids into the car when the mail lady, whom I have NEVER spoken to before, stops me and asks, “Are these two kids yours?”

“Yes.” I replied smiling.

“And you’re pregnant again?”

I really wanted to say, well obviously but instead I came back with a rather profound “Yup.”

She stared at me for a minute, as if evaluating my very intelligence.

Finally, she responded. “Ummm, I have some uh, reading material on how all this happens if you would like it.”

Needless to say, I was rendered speechless.

I flew by myself from Utah to Florida with my three children ages 3, 2, and 8 months. (that was a whole experience in and of itself)

As I was walking out of the terminal, looking for my family, a lady approached me.

“Oh, what adorable children! Are you the nanny?”

“Nope,” I replied with my best smile on, “I’m the mommy.”

She stared for a moment, then spun on her heel and walked away without another word.

We had moved into a new ward and didn’t know very many people yet.

I was conversing with a few other adults when the man in the group turned to me and asked my due date.

I told him and in turn, asked about his wife’s due date.

After telling me, he asked, “Now this is your second one too, right?”

I laughed a bit, braced myself and replied, “No, no. This is my fourth.”

And I kid you not. His eyes about doubled in size as he pointed his finger at me and firmly declared.“You’re crazy! You. Are. Crazy!”

My name is Serene and I had four children in four and a half years. And before you ask, yes, we do want more.

Now, I am in no way unique. There are oodles of women out there that had all sorts of large numbers of children under all sorts of wildly young ages. My own mother had her first seven children in only eight years.

On the flip side, there are oodles of women out there who would love to be in my shoes, but struggle to conceive or carry children. I personally know many, and they are amazing women.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that we didn’t exactly plan it this way. I’ll also be the first to admit that I really don’t enjoy being pregnant, at all.

I voted for the stork in the pre-existence.

Just sayin’.

But our little situation is what it is, and I love it. The thing I don’t love? People who feel like they have a say in our “family planning”.

The family proclamation states, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”

No, we are not trying to do that single-handedly for pete’s sake. But whether I want one kid, six kids, eight, or heaven help my poor, screaming uterus, twelve or fifteen, than fine! It’s none of their business!

In turn, people who have no kids, only one, or have them spaced years and years apart, it’s none of our business! And while sometimes these situations are by choice, you’ll find that often, it isn’t.

People are different. People’s situations are different. It’s a wonder that that is so hard for us to remember as we jump to conclusions about someone.

I so wish people would stop judging, snickering, guessing, gossiping, and butting in. The decisions people make about their family are between them and the Lord.

So while I may not particularly enjoy having all my curling irons plunged into the toilet by my children, I no longer feel embarrassed when the check-out person at the grocery store feels the need to remark on the fact that I look too young to have four kids, and then ask how old I am.

Because it’s none of their business.

And because I thoroughly plan on doing my very best as a mother. After all, the proclamation does state that, “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness....”

I am hardly perfect and there are days I have to lock myself in my room to keep from loosing it for the fifth time in one day.

But with the Lord’s help, I’m doing my best.

And that’s all that matters.

Thank you so much for that, Serene!

Now, it's time to link-up your Family Proclamation Posts from the last couple of days:

There have really been some amazing ones so far, so I hope you all go back and read them!

And remember the party favors for this week:

a canvas print of your choice

in the size of your choice

by Katie's Clicks

  Click here to see the pictures you can choose from...

a $50 Gift Certificate to the digi-scrapbooking site Skittles & Scraps!

a personalized glass photo keepsake necklace (or item of your choice)

by Little Keepsake's Studio

Pyper Style Scripture Tote

by Spicy Designs

"Come What May And Love It." Print

by The Kiki Comin Shoppe

Fabric-covered Book of Mormon (Pocket-sized)

by Our Happy Home