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I keep meaning to type out my feelings at this point in life. However, there doesn't seem to be words adequate to express the complexity of my thoughts--not exact words that I feel comfortable putting out in public, anyway.
In my heart is an intricate web of gratitude and awe and humility and disbelief and amazement at the path the Lord has lead me down to get to this place. You see, I am quite a different person now than I was four years ago. During that time, I have been pruned and cut back and given the opportunity to grow up in a better way than the way that I had planned.
And that is the beautiful thing about life, especially a life where you let your guard down, and lay your will down, and let the Lord do what he will with you.
It's not an easy thing, but it is a glorious thing. It is a magnificent metamorphosis...one that only The Maker, our Savior, can adequately take us through (and which he'll take us through many times in this life, if we let Him.)
It is a change that puts all events in our lives--past and present--into their proper place and perspective. It is a change that allows us to see who we were really meant to be and causes a course correction that betters our chances of actually reaching our intended destiny...and to get there happier and wiser and more fulfilled.
There is no self-help book, no magic word, no mind-over-matter that can bring about this kind of change.
And there is no better travel companion on this road than Jesus Christ, the one who understands us best, who loves us completely, the only one who has really gone there before.
As I look back, I truly see Him in my life, and I recognize better now more than ever what he has done for me personally...and why.
Like I said, there just aren't words.
Maybe that is why Mary kept these things and pondered them in her heart.
Wise woman that Mary.