Friday, July 20, 2012

The Mark of a Truly Educated Man

Fans wait outside for


I taught a class on "Avoiding Degrading Media Influences" in Young Women on Sunday.  It's lesson #33 in YW Manual 1.

Now that I am about six years removed from my days of working in the TV industry, I can clearly see how those experiences have endowed me with wisdom as I make choices about what types of media I include in my life, in my home, and how I educate my children about the media that they are being bombarded with on a daily basis.

Of course, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we can also be endowed with wisdom on these matters by listening to the counsel of our prophets--men who have been called of God to receive revelation, to advise, and warn us about the pitfalls of our day.

The lesson that I had the privilege of teaching on Sunday was full of such priceless wisdom.

This quote from President Ezra Taft Benson stood out to me...Here he speaks of books, but his standards can be applied to ALL forms of media and entertainment today.  He says:

“Today, with the abundance of books available, it is the mark of a truly educated man to know what not to read. … As John Wesley’s mother counseled him: ‘Avoid [1] whatever weakens your reason, [2] impairs the tenderness of your conscience, [3] obscures your sense of God, [4] takes off your relish for spiritual things, … [5] increases the authority of the body over the mind.’
“The fact that a book is old does not necessarily make it of value. The fact that an author wrote one good work does not necessarily mean that all his books are worthy of your time. Do not make your mind a dumping ground for other people’s garbage. It is harder to purge the mind of rotten reading than to purge the body of rotten food, and it is more damaging to the soul” (“In His Steps,” in Speeches of the Year, 1979 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1980], p. 61).
I woke up today, turned on NPR (as I routinely do) and heard the headlines about the overnight shooting, massacre really, in Aurora, Colorado.  I was saddened by the news, but not all that phased.  Actually, I wasn't able to take in the news coverage until later this afternoon, around 4pm.

My kids were with me.  Since we will be leaving on our much-anticipated trip to Colorado (the same area of the shooting actually) very soon, I didn't want my kids to see the story for fear that it might scare them or traumatize them.  However, they wouldn't leave the room, and I decided to use the story as a case in point:  Violence begets violence.

Here we have the largest mass-shooting in our country's history, happening at the midnight viewing at the premiere of a violent movie.  (One part of a series of violent movies...)

This thought stood out as important direction for MY life:  I thought, how ironic, that as a society, we will pay good money to watch violence, but we are shocked when those same violent acts become reality.  Even a daily reality.

Yes, shootings can and do happen everywhere: in Amish schools, in churches, in shopping centers, in homes, etc, but the fact that it happened in a darkened theater, after midnight, in front of an audience that had come there eager to watch a LOT of violence that evening is not lost on me.  


The audience was lulled to the point that when the shooter stepped out from behind the screen in full battle garb, no one thought it was out of place.  No one screamed or left the theater.  They thought he was "part of the show,"--that buzz-worthy show that they had paid good money to see!  So, instead of running, they sat and watched him set off canisters of tear gas!


Only when he shot his gun into the air did people snap out of the trance they were in and head for the exits or duck under their seats.  I can only imagine the thoughts going through the shooter's head, "What's wrong with you people? I'm here to shoot you, and you aren't even reacting!?"


Violent media is spiritually numbing.  But in the case of last night's shooting it seemed to have been physically numbing as well.  One effect of watching violent media is dying a slow spiritual, almost undetectable, death.  For some, last night's screening facilitated a quick physical death as well.


I can hardly watch the coverage of this tragedy...and it is a tragedy, regardless of the circumstances.  It should not have happened.  And at least some of the victims should not have even been there.  The four-month-old who was grazed by a bullet should have been in bed.  So should his four-year-old sister.


As I type this, I want to be clear, that I am not trying to transfer blame from the shooter to the victims.  I am blogging these thoughts as a note to self...and if anyone reading this has ears to hear, then this is for you too.  


As parents--as people--we take our spiritual and physical lives (and that of our children) into our own hands when we participate in or watch depictions of violence.  When we decide to step outside of the guidelines that we've been given by prophets, we take ourselves outside of the guidance of the spirit and walk a dangerous, unprotected path.  


As the world becomes more and more evil, more and more volatile and troubled, it will become more and more vital for us to stand in holy places in order to remain safe--both spiritually and physically.


This will take vigilance.  This will require planning on our part to steer our eyes and energies toward uplifting media that will enhance our ability to feel the spirit, so that when we encounter real physical danger, we can heed the warnings of the Spirit without delay and retreat to safer ground.


From what I have gleaned from the very little coverage I have watched of this incident, the shooter was quite intelligent and very well-educated.  He was probably also mentally-disturbed, as he told police that he "is the Joker."  Let us not be prideful, but teachable.  Let us display "the mark of a truly educated man," by walking away from media that promotes violence and degrades us to the point that violence and hatred grows undetected inside of us...until it is too late.




From For the Strength of Youth:
Whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Therefore, choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices. It will allow you to enjoy yourself without losing the Spirit of the Lord.

While much entertainment is good, some of it can lead you away from righteous living. Offensive material is often found in web sites, concerts, movies, music, videocassettes, DVDs, books, magazines, pictures, and other media. Satan uses such entertainment to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal and exciting. It can mislead you into thinking that everyone is doing things that are wrong.

Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable.

Pornography in all its forms is especially dangerous and addictive. What may begin as a curious indulgence can become a destructive habit that takes control of your life. It can lead you to sexual transgression and even criminal behavior. Pornography is a poison that weakens your self-control, changes the way you see others, causes you to lose the guidance of the Spirit, and can even affect your ability to have a normal relationship with your future spouse. If you encounter pornography, turn away from it immediately.

Depictions of violence often glamorize vicious behavior. They offend the Spirit and make you less able to respond to others in a sensitive, caring way. They contradict the Savior’s message of love for one another.

Have the courage to walk out of a movie or video party, turn off a computer or television, change a radio station, or put down a magazine if what is being presented does not meet Heavenly Father’s standards. Do these things even if others do not. Let your friends and family know that you are committed to keeping God’s standards. You have the gift of the Holy Ghost, which will give you strength and help you make good choices.

44 comments:

  1. Thank you for this.  The violence perspective was one I hadn't even considered -- although I too was appalled at, not only the whole tragedy, but the fact that there were young children there.  So while I already agree with you, you also made me think and added to my insight.  And I love the quote about literature -- I'm keeping that one around.  Thank you!

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  2. I just wanted to let you know that every time you post, I find myself nodding my head in agreement.  This post was no different from all the others.  The sad irony of the situation was not lost on me, either.  Thank you for your insight, and the reminder to be vigilant in seeking out only the best of things (ie, virtuous, lovely, good report or praiseworthy)!

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  3. a sad commentary on the evil in the world...what an influence all these violent video games are where you shoot other people, absolutely deadening to spirit and conscience...

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  4. I am so grateful to you for saying what I have been thinking ALL DAY. I did not have the courage to write about it, so I really appreciate you saying what I could not.

    AMEN to everything you have said here! I know several young men, who are good in every other respect, but they are obsessed with this movie series as well as other violent movies and various violent video games. Violence begets violence-- and "by their fruits we shall know them."

    Again, thank you for your beautifully written post on this important issue.

    Hugs,
    Rachel

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  5. I love this. I've been thinking something similar, but you articulate so well.  

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  6. Excellent post!!! I hadn't heard of this- I don't really keep up with the news very well. You wrote this beautifully and it's all so true. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. Last Sunday in RS we talked of being bold in our love for people and in our efforts to be missionaries. Thank you for being bold! ....and saying what many of us are thinking!  You would think as a peculiar people WE would boldly stand up against this movie and many more that promote such degrading nonvalues...but instead I hear it discussed in church, sometimes even talked about and compared to scripture prophets...in lessons (The Avengers)...and posted to fb, and not just movies...but broadway plays, books and so much more.  Again THANK YOU for reminding me that I have a voice and can lovingly be bold and stand up for my morals...instead of remain quiet and seemingly let others choose their path.  We must be bold and share what we know to be true and correct principles.....you have done that,

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  8. These are thoughts I haven't been able to get out of my head all day.  Particularly, why were there so many little children at the midnight showing of a creepy movie?!?!?  Why do so many parents think it's okay to not only keep their kids out so late, but to expose their sweet, innocent, and completely-unready-to-handle-such-"entertainment" minds to that kind of garbage???  Sad, sad, sad to live in a society where we take our tiny kids to movies like this (or let them play violent video games, etc) and then are shocked when horrible things like this happen.  Why do so few see the correlation?

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  9. P.S. Thank you for articulating the thoughts jumbled in my head today.  You've helped me make sense of what I've been trying to organize in my mind:)

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  10. Thank you for putting into words what I couldn't quite articulate to my daughter when she called me last night. I wasn't surprised that this happened. Satan has a stranglehold on so many, lulled into, like you said, a trance from which they can't discern dangers. The very title of the Batman film gives me the willies "The Dark Knight Rises." Our family song is "Keep the Commandments" my favorite line being "in this there is safety and peace." Too many of us (LDS) want to keep our vacation cottage in Babylon so we can visit occasionally and keep up on the latest social trends. (Yes, someone important said something similar in General Conference.) But I like the advice from the Lord through Paul to the Corinthians: "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and tough not the unclean thing; and I will receive you."      2 Cor. 6:17
    Thanks so much for sharing your insights.

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  11. Very compelling piece. Thank you for sharing your thought.

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  12. Thank you for writing this. It is a great counsel to u as the parents to watch our children nd what we are doing.

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  13. Excellent post!  I too agree that all the violence that people expose themselves to is one of Satans biggest tools...and he has captured so many people.  I disgusts me that anyone would see those kinds of movies (video games, internet, books, etc), but it's even more sad that they would take their children to it.  It's scary really.  I live about 20 minutes from where this happened.  I live withing sight of the Denver temple (actually it's in Littleton) and it just shows that these things can happen anywhere.  But I think people definetly put themselves in places where things are more likely to happen.  Like you said, violence begets more violence and the scene of this shooting is proof of that.  So so sad.

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  14. Thank you, Emily.  I just have to say that I am definitely not perfect in this, but I recognize the need for improvement...like I said, it takes vigilance to really keep away from this stuff...it comes at us from all directions and from multiple formats.  Some decisions of what not to see are obvious...others, not so much.  We must all stay in-tune with the spirit to make the best possible choices for ourselves and our families!  Thanks again!

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  15. I truly love your insight! I didn't make the connection between the violent movie and the violent crime. It is so very true! The idea that this happened, shocks me. But where it happened doesn't. And my first thought about the baby was very much, "Why were there children there!" I remember standing in line for a different movie, watching parents take their four year old son into a rated R movie across the hall from me. I was speechless. People want to know why your kids are out of control? Look at what media you allow them to be exposed too. Put those thoughts into a kid who doesn't have the ability to think about the consequences of his actions and what do you get? One of the most violent little kids I've ever met, his only toys were play weapons. Real looking plastic knives, swords and guns. And his parents were at a loss as to why he behaved the way he did. Sorry, rant went long! But truly, another great blog post!

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  16. I didn't really have a good reaction to this post, Jocelyn.  I see definite truth in your writing, especially in your quotations from For The Strength of Youth.  Definitely good advice all the way through.  The connection to Colorado made me cringe a bit.  I can't really articulate why exactly.  There was just kind of a "well, they shouldn't have been there" feel to it, even though you make it clear that was not what you meant.  At the same time, the things you talk about are gospel truth.  I don't know, I'm just really hurting inside for those people, just like we all are.  I can't stand to think about it, and yet I can't stop thinking about it.  

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  17. I hear ya, JB.  That's why I wanted to make the distinction.  I'm not placing blame on the victims...simply pointing out what was to me a clear illustration of how important it is to have the spirit with us...always.  Also that we need to protect our kids.  I can't judge anyone for going to see the movie, since I've seen plenty of movies that didn't match up with the standards I should.  For me though, there was a lesson in this...for ME.  Others  might take away an entirely different notion, and I respect that.  And of course, I mourn for the victims and for our society as a whole.

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  18. I thought the same thing. The evening before this tragedy the news was telling about the opening of this show. They were saying how everyone was clamering to go see it. That when movie critics stated the movie was "dark" they were actually gettting death threats before the show even aired. How ironic that the next morning I read on Yahoo that there had been a mass shooting in the midnight showing. I also thought about the cliche' "The Holy Ghost goes to bed after midnight."

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  19. I also agree with you. The evening prior to this evil massacre the news was telling about the upcoming show. They said that the movie critis called the movie "dark", and people were actually e-mailing death threats to the critics for their comments. I wondered about the show then. Imagine what I thought the next morning when I turned on my computer and read of the shooting. It was in the midnight showing. The cliche we tell our youth came to mind, "The Holy Ghost goes to bed after midnight." Your article should be given to every YM and YW organization everywhere.

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  20. Thanks, Nancy.  I thought your comment was insightful too.

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  21. Oh and PS - I didn't know that critics who called the show dark had received death threats for making such comments.  We can't be bullied into remaining silent.  The world would have darkness for light...but we don't have to partake.

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  22. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.  I feel the same.  I watched the series 7th Heaven and there was a quote given by the father in the series - Reverend Camden as he was teaching his daughter about violence and video games: "When you firt see someone shot in a movie or on TV or in a video game, it's at least a little bit scary.  But then when you see it again and again and again, day after day after day, year after year, it gets to be not so scary.  It gets to be matter of fact or no big deal, or even just nothing.  But it is something.  It's the biggest something.  It's someone taking someone else's life.  And somehow, kids have (people have) become numb to it all, that the line between pretend and real life starts disappearing."
    We are at a time in this world where violence is becoming the norm.  And it's not just violence, it moral and ethical issues as well.  We need to know where we stand now, and stand strong.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts and allowing me to share mine!   

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  23. Thank you, Shauna.  That is a very astute quote.  I have been trying to teach my kids about this fact...about violence in TV and video games.  I think he understood what I was saying, but now he can see the effect with his own eyes.  Thank goodness he didn't have to be in the theater to lean that lesson.

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  24. I have loved your blog and want to emulate your example in so many ways when I teach my children about the gospel (I'm expecting my first baby).  I also know that the prophets have given us inspired counsel about how to protect our children from the evils of the media, and I truly thank you for being a bold witness of that, and for reminding us of that counsel in this post.  However, I have to respectfully disagree with your inference that those in the theatre didn't know what was going on at first because they were desensitized to violence.  I think that, regardless of the film, having a man appear with gas canisters and opening fire would be too inconceivable to believe it in the first few seconds.  It's just too out of our "realm of possibility" as humans to instantly compute what is happening in a situation like that, so I don't think those in the theater deserve any criticism for not instantly suspecting the worst.  I also know that many people dress up in costume for premieres of movies and bring props, so that could have contributed to the confusion.  I hope I'm not coming across too harshly, because I really do respect and admire you so much because of your blog; I just felt the need to (hopefully) respectfully share my feelings in regards to this one point you made in this post.  My heart hurts at the thought that someone could be criticized for not instantly comprehending that a horrific act of violence was taking place as they were watching a movie.  

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  25. What an incredibly well written article. This has little to do with the guns available, that hasn't changed. This has everything to do with the violence in media. There weren't movies like this in the 50's. Violent video games are even worse! The morality of our society is at an all time low. I am so proud to be a member of the LDS church. I am proud to have guidance as well as a strong group of friends who don't feel this kind of entertainment is a good way to spend an evening. I'll be saving this blog post for when I teach this lesson. 

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  26. Thanks, Megan.  I appreciate your comments.  And I'm glad that you've found value in my blog in the past!

    Here are just a few things to note:  First, I wasn't criticizing the victims for not reacting or blaming them for the tragedy. I was simply pointing out that they did not have the capacity to react that they could have had....and that their reaction (taken from first-hand accounts) perfectly illustrates the way that violent media dulls our senses, separates us from the Spirit, and inhibits our ability to recognize and react to danger (physical or otherwise). 

    I know that this insight was given to me by the Spirit to help me keep my children and myself safe from whatever the future holds for us, so I don't feel like I need to defend it or further explain it to others.  If my children learn that THE ONLY safe situation moving forward in this life, is one in which they can feel and respond to the Spirit...then I have done my job, and I feel that we have received the message that the Lord wanted us to receive from this.  

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  27. We live about 10-15 minutes away from the theater where this happened. Shortly after the shootings happened, the bishop asked the Relief Society to use the visiting teaching phone tree to make sure everyone in our ward was doing ok. As I was making phone call after phone call, some of these same thoughts were going through my head. Why do we idolize villains and violence?The event was tragic, and the feeling here around Aurora and Denver has been very subdued and reverent. I am so sad that these things happened, but I hope we can all remember that subdued feeling for a long time, especially when we think about what our children watch on TV and what they are exposed to through media.

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  28. Thank you for sharing that, Kelsey!  I agree...we all can feel the sadness, the mourning...let us not let that feeling just wear off, that spiritual sensitivity just fade away...instead, let's change.  Let's do something about it!  Let's respond to a tragedy by becoming a better people.  Sending much love your way!  I'll be in your hood soon actually!!!

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  29. We too experienced a bit of discomfort reading the post, not because you said anything wrong, but just that feeling of if a victim of the shooting were reading this, what would they would feel. And we don't even know that they would feel badly about it. Maybe when you are mourning with them that mourn, that connection makes you internalize the discomfort you imagine they may feel. Discomfort isn't always a bad thing. It's our bodies signal that something is happening that is unsettling and of course this tragic shooting is that. Discomfort causes us to seek comfort and in that search is where we often learn valuable lessons.

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  30. I find it ironic in an earlier blog post, you thought it was awesome your SIL was roomates with Stephanie Meyer. I know you said were not endorsing her books in that post. Stephanie Meyer is a woman who writes stories about vampires, a dark subject. No, the violence is nothing comparable to The Dark Knight. It is a movie franchise that has regular movie viewings *that happen after midnight*, *in a darkened theater*. I see it as a mentally unstable man who saw an opportunity to take out his frustrations. This had been building up for months. Like the Amish school shootings.

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  31. You make a good point (I believe) in that
    our society is thoroughly saturated in violence <(----in general,
    that is...certainly not everyone in our society wants to see violent
    movies), but you fail to consider that in that setting it would not
    be out of place for someone to step out with smoke-bombs and waive what would be presumed "fake guns" around because it was
    a premier. It was a fair presumption in general that what was happening was
    probably part of the opening night festivities.

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  32. Good point!  I am certainly evolving as a person, and as I said in this post...this was a personal revelation to me to step it up a notch! Thanks!

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  33. Maybe there's truth in that, and maybe what you're saying proves my point still.  Had it been a different kind of movie, a man with a gun would have been much more alarming.  But let's not get too stuck on this one situation...my point is that our society is hypocritical if we think we can engage in watching violent material for entertainment...even exposing young children to it (as we do almost daily!) and expect that violent people will not be produced by such a society.  Surely, you can see my point.

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  34. Oh and I'm not refuting that this man had been planning this or that it had been building for months...this also supports what I am saying...which is this: as a society we have been becoming more and more tolerant of and infatuated with violence...and this has been "building up" for years.  We want to see violent movies for entertainment, but we do not want to experience any ill effects of doing so.  If we raise a generation of children who are brought up viewing violent material, we will definitely produce more people who commit violent acts.  I'm sure you can see the logic in that. 

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  35. Thanks, Sistas! 
    Anyway, mourning is one thing...turning a blind eye to the fact that as a society we are embracing violence is another.

    (And believe me, I do mourn...in many ways!)

    Something good must come out of this...if we continue to raise a generation of children who are brought up to watch and appreciate violence in media, then we cannot be surprised when we continue to produce more and more unstable people who commit violent acts against innocent people.  My post was a commentary on all of society, not a "finger-pointing" at the victims but a wake-up call to all of us.

    We are free to choose...but consequences will always follow.  And as you know, we don't get to pick out our consequences after the fact!

    Even President Obama has said that we need to all put our heads together and work toward a solution.  The violence continue.  The Spirit has directed me to step away from violent media...and that is the solution for me.  That is my contribution toward making sure this violence stops.

    -J

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  36. When tragedy happens we are always supposed to learn from it and make changes and do our best to keep it from happening again. We weren't speaking to whether or not it's ok to share the lessons we have individually learned, but to why discomfort may be a response.

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  37. And I do appreciate your comments on discomfort...there is so much to be "uncomfortable" about in this situation and in the broader big picture.  For instance, I am uncomfortable looking at the shooter in the court today.  He looked like someone who'd been chewed up and spit out by satan himself...and I do believe he has been...because Satan would like to destroy each one of us and he doesn't need bullets to do it.  Proof again that Satan does not support his followers...he will drop you the first chance he gets...that is AFTER you do his bidding!  I'm sad that someone who showed such promise in life, chose so poorly.  Of course there's more to the story, I'm sure...

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  38. Amen to all you said! This will be shared on my facebook page. Blessings to you for a well written post on an important subject that we all need to ponder upon.
    Blessings and hugs to you!

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  39. Thank you so much, LeAnn! I always appreciate your comments and shared wisdom! :)

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  40. You're post reminded me of a Quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.  He said, "The promoters of darkness often seem to have direct access to the media microphone.  We may not be able to take that away from them, but we can at least raise our own voices.  We can teach correct principles often and in as many ways as possible.  Since darkness is the absence of light, surely the most powerful way to counter darkness is to fill the world with light!" 

    Thank you for raising your voice and helping to fill the world with light!
    -Rachael

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  41. I like your thoughts --very insightful and pertinent to the issues going on around us. I have a 13-year-old daughter and i always teach my children that the world standard is way different from the standards set by God--I am pertaining to the film ratings. I know that "the movie" was PG 13 even if i havent seen it yet but I know base on the standard i follow that i cannot let her watch it even if i am with her, for me i already know it is too violent even for 16 year-olds, so I said no to my daughters and reiterated my reasons. They understood anyways. We all have our inner voice or conscience no matter who we are,as parents  we can all feel and think what is best for our children and how we would like them to grow.I believe that old fashion and traditional way of raising kids is still the best--as parents we should be  more selfless and think of our children's safety and happiness first--I agree that babies and little children should be home sleeping safely in their beds and not in the theater.

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  42. I felt the Spirit confirm the truth of the things you said about keeping ourselves clean, avoiding violence in media, etc. I completely agree to that and am striving as a mother to help make the same choices you have felt to make for your family. In fact, after a General Conference a couple years ago, my husband and I decided to make a change in the media we watch. We made a commitment to no longer watch PG-13 movies, and no more TV-14 tv shows. It was a tough decision to make because there are so many shows we would LIKE to watch and that seem ok except for a couple of parts here and there. It would be easy to justify watching them because they aren't "that" bad. But we felt the Spirit prompting us to draw the line so that we don't have to keep making the decision over and over on what's appropriate and what's not. I feel that our lives have been so blessed and we have been able to keep the Spirit in our lives and our home as a result of following this prompting. So, again, I love and agree completely with the doctrine you state in this post.

    However, I can't help but feel that the way you discuss the tragedy that occurred at the movie theater in Colorado was a little insensitive and lacked compassion. I think you could have made the same amazing points about avoiding violent media without treating the loss of life so cavalierly. These were real people who died tragically. Real families who are hurting and in pain. 

    You say that you were writing about what you learned for yourself and your family. I get that. But unfortunately it's available for all the world to read. And while you make so many valid and wonderful points that we can ALL learn from, I feel that you can do so with a little more Christ-like compassion.

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  43. Christ-like compassion is manifest in many ways in what I wrote...thanks for sharing your opinion!

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