I BELIEVE IN DREAMS.
Not everyone does, you know. Some people ignore their dreams. Others can't recall their dreams and so claim not to have them at all. Still others are embarrassed by these secret wishes that their heart makes while they are fast asleep. But I have always put a lot of stock in dreams, and as a result I've gleaned a lot of wisdom from them.
Just this week, I had a recurring dream that I've had at least 5-6 times before. In the dream, I am returning to my high school to clean out my locker. I am either my current age or have just graduated. I feel an urgent need to remove the contents of my locker, to clean it out before I have to leave school behind, BUT I can never remember the combination.
During the dream, I struggle to unlock my locker as time speeds away from me. The interesting thing is that the combination is always the same, but in my dream state I struggle to recall the correct numbers to unlock my locker every time.
On Monday morning, I was working out while pondering this particular dream, as I had just awoken from it. And as I pondered, I finally realized the meaning that the dream held for me.
The act of unlocking the locker to clean it out and remove its contents is symbolic of unlocking the past, forgiving, and letting go of tiny remnants of feelings that I no longer need to hold onto or store within myself.
I had recently expressed to Steve that this was something that I really wanted to make a concerted effort to do. He suggested that I just make a list and privately, with the Lord, go through each item and let it go...one by one.
Now describing how to let go of the past or how to forgive is very personal. (I'm guessing for most of us it is easier to push unpleasant feelings to the back of our minds than to do the heavy-lifting required to actually fully forgive.) It's just about as difficult as describing a dream to another person. You just almost have to experience it for yourself to know truly how it feels, to identify the spiritual muscles that must be activated, in order to bring it about.
As I thought about this, I thought about how in the dream the combination for the lock is ALWAYS the same...nevertheless, I always struggle to recall the numbers that will set the contents of my locker free.
As I type this I know that the tried and true combination is simple and accessible to everyone, and at its center is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Now to see if I will have the discipline to flex the appropriate spiritual and emotional muscles to fulfill the wish that my heart has made! Wish me luck!